Remembering Jackie

An edited re-post in honor of a wonderful mother and 
hands-down the best Mother-in-Law a girl could want.

I love holidays of any sort. I love any reason to celebrate actually. Life can be so hard at times, so I believe we need opportunities like this that remind us of the blessings we have. For some, though, holidays are painful reminders of just how hard life can be. I woke up early this morning, heavy-hearted for those for whom Mother's Day is a difficult one due to the loss of that incredibly important relationship.

For my husband, Stephen, and for those of you for whom today is bittersweet at the very least, and down right heartbreaking at the worst, I dedicate this post in your honor and in memory of my mother-in-law and dear friend, Jackie Hendrix. I miss her more now than when she first left us.

Just recently Prince William quoted his grandmother who said, "Grief is the price we pay for love." Indeed it is.

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(Originally posted July 16, 2008)

Wearing the name "Hendrix" is an honor in great part to it being Jackie's last name. She never once treated me or my girls like outsiders. From the moment Stephen (surprised me and) introduced me to his parents, I was treated like one of the family. When I saw their home for the first time and all the food stored in their two pantries and garage, I was sure she was stocking up for Y2K--nope! That was just Jackie's way of caring for her family. We still laugh about me thinking it was all about Y2K. (I met Stephen November of 1999.)

Jackie is just something special and will be so very,very missed.

Jackie loved cooking--Amelia said she can imagine her cooking for everyone in heaven already! But she didn't love the cooking in and of itself, I don't believe. I observed her long enough to know that she loved cooking because she loved people. It dawned on me about 5 years ago, after knowing her for several years, that she knew exactly what each of us liked to eat--even what each one of us liked on our sandwiches and what kind of candy to get us at Easter and Christmas. She knew this about each and every child, in-law, and grandchild, yet I realized none of us knew what SHE liked on her sandwich. I would imagine her hubby knew, but that day I asked her so I would know how to fix her a sandwich. She never noticed that none of us knew. That's just the kind of person Jackie was (IS!).

We joked how she always made 2 meats and 12 vegetables for any given meal because she wanted everyone to have what they liked. (Although something was almost always inevitably forgotten in the kitchen. I'm smiling over how many times at the end of a meal, we'd hear, "OH no, I forgot the broccoli!..or potatoes..or...")

Even in her pain and suffering these past few years, she never brought the attention to herself if given an opportunity to find out how others were.

Jackie also loved to shop--but again, not for Jackie or just to shop. She loved to take us girls and the kids out to lunch and shopping and always got something (at least one thing) for each grandchild.

I have already missed her so much since her stroke in September 2006--I've missed the long afternoons of hanging out at "Grandma's house", talking about the latest diets, grandkids, and most of all, our mutual love for Jesus. I wish you could have seen her when she laid eyes on Jackson for the first time. I thought she was going to glide right out of the room with him! I'm sure she was like this when each of her grandchildren were born, but I wasn't there with the others to witness that joy I know was there. I also remember her tears of joy at one of my baby showers when she said, "I never thought I'd see the day that Stephen would become a father. Legitimately." ;-) (If you know Stephen's past, you understand her meaning by that.)

She loved my husband, her youngest son, all through his addiction and destructive living for years. She often shared with me how painful those years were and how she prayed constantly for him. Her prayer life was amazing, and challenges and encourages me still. In honor of her, we named our only son after her. I have never been more thankful for that choice than I am today. Right now.

Jackie's was a life well-lived. My pastor encourages us to live to be missed, and Jackie, we already miss you. Heaven is all the more sweet to look forward to with you there.

With Much Love,
Shelley

PS...Macey says she loves you, too.

All I really want for Mother's Day...

Mother's Day is here again. As though you needed the reminder, right? Of course not. We all know this weekend is a special one and by now we've got any plans to celebrate already made --hopefully! I'm looking forward to celebrating my Mom with family this evening. Where would we be without our moms?

I used to tell people I thought there was a curse on this day as far as I was concerned. It seemed like every year something bad would happen, and I suppose since I was expecting something bad to happen, it inevitably did. Like the year I got stung on my eyebrow by some yet unknown stinging demon-bug and the whole right-side of my face swelled up and I had to take extra Benadryl to reduce the swelling and was knocked out cold for the majority of the day. That's just one of the many examples....I won't bore you with the others.

The day I became a Mom, June 11, 1994

As I've matured some-- And, let's face it, becoming a mom at twenty gives me a bit of an excuse for some immature expectations in those early years, right? (....This is my post, so just nod your head and agree with me, okay? Thank you.) --I've created less unrealistic expectations of the whole day. Don't get me wrong, I still LONG for the day my children rise up and call me "blessed" (preferably as they bring me breakfast in bed, while singing each other's praises and telling me how much they appreciate the hours of labor and stretch marks and all the sleepless nights, and how they spent the early morning hours praying with one another and cleaning their rooms...).

But for today... For right now... My only desire for Mother's Day is that this prayer Paul prayed over the believers in the Church in Ephesus so long ago, found in Ephesians 3, will be a reality in the lives of my three children:

"For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,  from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named,  that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man,  that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love,  may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God."


And, as I pray this prayer over Amelia, Macey and Jackson, I am overwhelmed by the reality that follows Paul's prayer in the very next sentence:


Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

Really and truly, if this prayer becomes the reality in the lives of my children, every other thing will fall into place. For me, and I imagine for the other Christian moms out there, this would be exceedingly, abundantly far more valuable and desirable than any breakfast in bed, flowers, jewelry or any other thing we could receive or experience on any given Mother's Day. What might happen if all of us moms decided this would be our prayer for our children over the next 12 months? Anyone out there want to join me? 

I lovingly dedicate this post to the three amazing children I get to raise,

 and to the four I will one day meet on the other side, who have made me a Mother. 

Amelia, Jackson and Macey 2009