Shelley Hendrix

Dogs are a chick's best friend!

2012-01-27T08:45:00.000-05:00

RIP Buddy the Wonder Dog

This time last week, I was grieving my brown-eyed best friend of 15 + years. I knew it was going to be difficult to say Good-Bye to Buddy, especially after all we've been through together; I just didn't realize it would be as difficult as it has been. I've always thought to myself that people who got this hung up on a pet were a little off, if you know what I mean, but now I am one of those people and I realize how "on" those others were all along. Now, I have heard people say it's like losing a child, and because I have lost 4 babies in pregnancy, I would have to say this isn't the case for me. If one of my living children were to pass on now, well, I don't even want to imagine that. I know I wouldn't be able to function for quite some time; but nevertheless, this has been a tough loss.

Things that used to bug me were now making me cry. I vacuumed the house and of course the vacuum sucked up a whole mess of Buddy's wiry black hair that he was known for shedding all over the place. Now when I find these little "dust-buddies" I want to save them all! ;-) I've never seen popcorn on the floor for very long, because if it ever fell, Buddy was quick to grab it up. I saw a pile of popcorn on the floor in the kitchen where Jackson had been eating some. The pile of popcorn made me cry. (Aren't you glad you don't live with me?)

On Thursday evening, after barely getting any work done and crying over just about everything (like when I dropped a piece of popcorn and immediately looked for Buddy to come munch it up, and then realized he wouldn't, and then I couldn't eat anymore popcorn), I decided to do something really, really...um... stupid.

I decided to see if there were any dogs looking for a home.

I didn't really anticipate finding one, but I thought that maybe seeing other dogs who needed homes would give me some cheer in thinking about maybe...down the road...possibly....getting another dog for our family. I definitely didn't expect to see this:

She was so stinking cute, so I just had to text the number given and see if she was still available. With her being so cute, I figured someone had already claimed her. The woman on the other end of the phone texted me back right away and said she was still available. We talked on the phone and decided we'd meet up the next day.

Now, I still didn't really think I was going to be getting a dog. I thought that maybe we'd just take one step at a time and see about the possibility of maybe getting a dog.

I was a little hesitant, but since I had just made a tentative appointment to meet her and on my anniversary no less, I figured I should probably let Stephen in on what had taken place while he was in another room for a few minutes. (That'll teach him to ever leave me alone for 5 minutes-ha ha!) He's such a good friend. Although he wasn't enthusiastic about changing our plans for the next day around or the idea of getting a puppy ( = lots of work after having a very easy going adult dog for so long), I think he was just happy that I could string more than a few words together coherently without sobbing. So, he agreed to think about maybe going to see her the next day.

As I thought about her I prayed about her, too. I also let my sister in on my little secret and asked her to pray as well. (Sisters are the BEST for secrets!) I admit that I don't trust God perfectly, but I have learned to trust Him at least enough to know that if something isn't good for me, I need to surrender to His will and rest in the knowledge that He will not withhold any good thing from me--if it wasn't meant to be, I'd be okay. I might pout a little, but I'd be okay.

Several things happened on Friday that seemed to be confirmation that this was our dog:

1) Stephen woke up excited to meet her.

2) I asked what he thought of the name "Annie" for our anniversary and he liked it.

3) I wondered what "Annie" meant, so I looked it up. It means "Grace" and "Favor"--anyone who knows us, knows that this defines in one word our journey with our Heavenly Father and sums up in one word what our lives and ministries are all about. I couldn't believe it when I saw this! GRACE!

4) We have been renting this house, so we have a land lord that wasn't all fired up about us even bringing Buddy with us, so we knew that the decision about us bringing a puppy home was really not fully up to us. Stephen contacted him, and there was ZERO hesitation. He said to go for it!

5) We met her.

Photo by Amelia Grace Photography

Annie fits in really well here. She is a lot of work right now--but what 3 month old isn't, right? She has been such good medicine for this chick's heart. I feel sadness mixed with joy when she senses Buddy in the house. She keeps looking for the other dog because in so many ways, He is still here. I told her she has some pretty big paws to follow--but not to fill. She gets to be herself with us. ;-)

When we got Annie, we were told she was a yellow lab, but it didn't take too long for us to see the Beagle in her...or hear it! She is so stinkin' annoying and adorable at the same time when she sticks her nose straight up in the air and howls. She doesn't do it often, thank God!, but when she does, I can't help but chuckle to myself, and then do everything I can to get her to knock it off. She would have made poor Buddy go nuts. Jackson calls her "Annie McBarksAlot."

So, here we are. One week with our Annie and looking forward to many years of fun and friendship...oh, and Milkbones...good grief this chick LOVES a milkbone!!

One friend put it this way, which meant so much to me, "Buddy brought you and Annie together." Indeed he did.

Thanks Buddy! I sure do miss you old friend.

The truth was the truth all along—but until I knew the truth, I couldn’t be free. #Shine

2012-01-26T09:30:00.000-05:00

(This is an excerpt from the Written Study that goes with the Winter 2012 Series "Shine!" at Church 4 Chicks. If you'd like to get a copy of this written study in its entirety, please visit www.church4chicks.com. This will be a FREE download for a limited time!)

I shared inthis week’s teaching at Church 4 Chicks that for as long as I can remember, between the ages ofbabyhood and about 25, I was very afraid of men with beards and shaggy clothesor blue collar type work clothes. I can’t count the number of times Iexperienced a scenario like this one I am going to share with you. Picture mewalking down an aisle in the grocery store, minding my own business, making mygrocery selections and keeping tabs on my calculator. I focus intently onwhatever I am doing—so much so that it drives my family crazy sometimes. Thewhole house could fall down around me while I’m focused on the task at hand andI probably would not skip a beat in what I am working on. In fact, a counselorfriend once told me if I had any more dopamine in my brain, I would bepsychotic! (He said this tongue-in-cheek….I think!)

So back to my scenario: Picture mefocused intently on the task of grocery shopping—something I don’t enjoyanyways—and not noticing anyone around me except to go around them instead ofthrough them as I do my shopping. Then, as if a radar detects danger, I noticea man round the corner with his own buggy, sporting a long beard, long hair andhis work clothes from a construction job or something similar. Immediately, andwithout any provocation, my heart begins beating faster. I sense danger. I feelthe intense need to make myself completely invisible to him. I feel panicky.But I have NO idea why. Logic tells me I’m being ridiculous. “Shelley, why areyou freaking out? This guy has not done anything to you. Why do you always dothis? Are you a bigot towards white men with shaggy hair or guys who work bluecollar jobs?”

This issue was so prevalent with methat I did not like it when the men in my life grew mustaches or beards. And Ihad NO idea why.

Until one day in 1999 when my olderbrother and I were talking about memories from childhood. This was during theseason I was experiencing an unwanted divorce from my first husband. My familymembers rose to the occasion big time and they all surrounded me with greatsupport. My brother was helping me laugh as we reminisced about days goneby—the way that only siblings can because they go so far back together. At onepoint he started reminding me of the days when our parents could leave us kidsin the car when they ran errands. This is something I never did with mychildren when they were young, but it was common in the late 70’s and early80’s. My brother said, “Do you remember when Dad would leave the three of us(my two olders brothers and me) in the car to go into a store or something andyou’d start crying for him?” I did not…I do not…remember this. And then hesaid, “And we would tell you, ‘Shelley,you better be quiet…or the HIPPIES ARE GONNA GETCHA!!”

Lightbulb.

After all these years and after allthe times I had asked my mom if something had happened to me when I was littlethat would make me experience so much anxiety when I would see men who looked acertain way; after all the confusion and guilt and fear, I finally understoodwhere this all started and why I was affected so strongly.

When the light was shone on thisdark place, I experienced immediate release of all of that fear. (And it is agood thing my brother was on the other end of the phone or he might have beenon the other end of my fist! Ha ha)

The truth was the truth all along—but untilI knew the truth, I couldn’t be free.

And, as a side note, may I just sayhow thankful I am to have found this out before I met Stephen Hendrix—a man whohas had facial hair almost every single day I’ve ever known him. J

· Have you experienced a situation that this story remindsyou of? If so, please share with us in the comments section below.

· What do you think might have happened if I continuedto live without the knowledge about the idea of “hippies” and how the idea was plantedin my mind when I was a toddler?

Happy 11th Anniversary to my man and me!

2012-01-20T08:30:00.000-05:00

January 20, 2001

I never knew it could be like this.

We've definitely had our highs and our lows in 11 years. Blending two lives is a challenge, but blending a family can seem downright impossible at times. It's a good thing our Heavenly Father delights in accomplishing what human beings view as impossible. I don't have a perfect life by anyone's definition, but I am enjoying a really wonderful life--and it's in large part due to the fact that Stephen Hendrix is the biggest part of it, second only to my Savior.

In honor of our 11th Anniversary, I've chosen to share something I wrote a while back (and have edited to bring it up to date). You'll find it just below. I also wanted to let you all know that Stephen and I will be hosting our very own Blog Party together the week of Valentine's Day on Love, Romance, and Marriage. We'd love to hear from you on topics you'd like us to tackle--my man is a wealth of knowledge and wisdom and grace. I know you're going to LOVE hearing from him. I'm tickled pink to have the opportunity to serve you alongside of him. You can post your questions or topic ideas here or email me directly at Shelley@Church4Chicks.com

I'm taking the weekend off-line to enjoy uninterrupted time with that man of mine...catch you later!

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August 2, 2000...

It started out pretty much like any other work day. I got up as a single mommy of 2 precious little girls and went to work. At that time I worked at FBC Woodstock as the secretary to the financial counselor, Eddie Hobbs. I loved my job, and I loved my boss. He became like a 2nd dad to me during those months of learning how to have a "real job" after having been a stay-at-home mom for 5 years. (As though being a SAH Mom isn't a "real job.") Eddie was out of town on August 2 and was needing me to fill in for him in the financial class he led on Wednesday evenings at church.

Throughout that day I picked up on the fact that there was a bit of extra excitement over that evening's planned "House of Prayer." Still, I knew I'd be helping out in the class, so I would have to miss it. It didn't keep me from wondering what all the excitement was about, though.

The day went on, mostly as normal, but the other staff members were all abuzz about House of Prayer. It was hard not to wonder what was up. Then, my then-boyfriend, Stephen asked me to please come to beginning of the prayer time because the focus was on "nearly-weds, newlyweds, and want-to-be-weds." We were in the latter of that group. We wanted to be able to wed, but we were not 100% about the timing. HopeQuest Ministries (which wasn't even named HopeQuest yet), was at that time in its very early days, and him being single, and unattached gave him the freedom to be available almost 24/7.

I was a bit surprised when he asked me to go to the prayer time with him, but I agreed. Anyone who knows Stephen very well, knows that he has a very tender heart. And with the topic being what it was, I wasn't all that surprised that he'd want us to have that opportunity to pray together and have others pray with us. I was nervous, though. (Being a divorced mother of two tends to make a girl a bit cautious with her privacy.) I barely saw him that day because he told me he had to visit someone in jail. I didn't get to talk to him by cell phone, either, because he told me he wouldn't be able to use his phone while he was at the jail.

Had I known what he had up his sleeve, I would have taken more time fixing my hair, and definitely would have spit out that gum! ;-)

(Turns out, he was off buying a ring that day, so I forgave him for "lying" to me about why he was unavailable the whole day.)

When my first marriage ended the way it did, I tried to get used to the idea that I might be single forever, and to focus on being the best mother I could be to my two girls. God truly did, and continues to do, exceedingly and abundantly above all I could have imagined. It's times like this that I am reminded, as I look back, that God truly is a giver of good gifts!

10th Anniversary 1-20-11
(camera date wrong)

Stephen Hendrix, thank you so much for asking me to marry you! People have asked me through the years if I was uncomfortable with the fact that you asked me to marry you in such a public setting. How could I have been? You didn't hide our relationship at all--you have always honored me, both in private and in public. I can't thank you enough for the ways you've allowed God to use you in my life. No one has ever demonstrated the love of Christ to me like you have. There's definitely no way I'd be in public ministry today without your strength, perseverance, and constant encouragement to be who God has made me to be, and to do what God has made me to do.

Thank you for the many ways you still show your integrity, faithfulness, and commitment, not only to me, but to those little girls who aren't so little anymore. You will be richly rewarded one day--being a step-parent is no easy responsibility, but you do it so well. Thank you for loving me and Amelia and Macey in such a way as to to make it so easy to trust you with our hearts.

You're the kind of man I want my girls to one day marry and the kind of man I am confident our son will one day become.

You changed my whole world with that proposal. Thank you, Stephen. 11 years. It's gone by so fast. I guess that's what happens when you get to be married to your very best friend.

I love you so much. So. Very. Much. It is an honor to wear your name.

And, in case you might be wondering...

I STILL can't believe I get to be married to Stephen Hendrix!

My Buddy and Me...

2012-01-19T10:35:00.000-05:00

Dogs are miracles with paws.
~Attributed to Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy

I was 22 years old when I began praying for a dog. Money was tight (isn't it always?); so my options were very limited. Very limited. The dog would have to be FREE.

I began my search and found an ad on the ajc.com classifieds for a "free dog to a good home... yadda yadda." There wasn't a picture of said dog, which was a really good thing. I mean look at him. Would you drive two hours to see this dog? ;-) Especially if you'd never met him before?

I called the woman who placed the ad and she explained she was looking for a new home for this 1 year old terrier mix she had rescued recently because her two other dogs (8 and 12 years old) couldn't handle the playfulness of this new addition to their home. She told me he was fun and sweet and extremely good natured. I guess when she said he had a good personality, I should have been prepared. (Ha ha)

I drove the two hours alone and finally arrived at the house of the woman who rescued the brown-eyed boy who would completely steal my heart. My very first thoughts were, "I drove two hours for this? This has got to be the ugliest dog I've ever seen! There's no way he's coming home with me...but I'll be polite enough to meet him and this woman who is trying to find a home for him...no wonder she's giving him away for free!"

I didn't know it when I met him, but as I've looked back on that moment over the years, I really think he somehow knew we were meant for each other. He attached himself to me right away and before I realized what I had gotten myself into, I had this ugly, playful, sweet, friendly, protective, wonderful, loyal four-legged future best friend in the mini-van with me, headed home. He had already been named, and so we didn't change it. "Buddy." It was the perfect name for him.

My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

Buddy at 10 years old
*His eyes are actually brown* ;-)

I'll never forget our one and only camping trip with Buddy. This dog passionately HATED water. I have no idea what happened to him before we met that caused this, but I'll always remember having to carry this crazy, scared-out-of-his-wits canine across a river...and back again! I was scratched up so much from him freaking out on me and doing his dead-level best not to get a drop of water on him!

I'll also never forget almost losing him on that trip when he got bit in the neck by a copperhead. Scared us both half to death. That was in 1998.

We long for an affection altogether ignorant of our faults. Heaven has accorded this to us in the uncritical canine attachment. ~George Eliot

When no one else was, Buddy was there. During the painful season of divorce and learning to accept that my girls would be gone every other weekend. During the losses of miscarriage on four different occasions. I even prayed when I was single again that if God wanted another man in my life that it would be someone who would love Buddy and would be loved by Buddy. I'll tell you something I haven't told too many people: I think Buddy fell in love with Stephen Hendrix before the rest of us girls did. As I've cried a river these past 24 hours missing him, I remember that all the times I've cried like this over the past 15 years, Buddy was by my side. It makes losing him that much harder...I've grown so accustomed to having him with me when I'm hurting.

One reason a dog can be such a comfort when you're feeling blue is that he doesn't try to find out why. ~Author Unknown

We've known for some time now that we've been on borrowed time with our best friend. Buddy used to love to run and play. His favorite game for YEARS was fetch. His favorite food was popcorn. His favorite activity was simply being with us. He was always so protective of us--of me in particular--and he would alert me if anyone got within 1/2 mile of our house! As my hearing loss has increased through the years, he became my alarm system and door bell and guest greeter all in one.

He had his ornery side, too, though. He loved to get into the trash, and although he knew he wasn't allowed on the furniture, up until a couple of years ago, he would plant himself on beds and couches anytime we weren't at home---always off of them and ready to greet us when we got home---and always looked so surprised when we knew he had been there. (His unmatched ability to shed gave him away every time!)

But as the years have gone on, his ability to hear, walk, and play has dramatically decreased. This didn't stop him from greeting favorite family members and friends who came to the house and it didn't stop him from at least trying to follow me from room to room as I moved about my day.

We've been confident the past few months that every day we would get to have with Buddy would be an added bonus to the years and years of getting to experience his loyal friendship. I'm so thankful we got to have one last Christmas with him. I'm so thankful for family members and friends who have loved us and encouraged us and even cried with us through this.

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. ~Roger Caras

Fifteen years worth of memories. Fifteen years worth of friendship with a dog, who as my father-in-law so appropriately said was "more than a dog." Fifteen years worth of Holidays, Birthdays, joys, losses, additions, celebrations, and difficult farewells. And that brown-eyed boy was there by my side through every single bit of it. Until now. And this loss is great.

My brother sent me a poem by Rudyard Kipling and it is so appropriate to end this post with it.

A Dog for Jesus

(Where dogs go when they die)

I wish someone had given Jesus a dog.

As loyal and loving as mine.

To sleep by His manger and gaze in His eyes
And adore Him for being divine.

As our Lord grew to manhood His faithful dog,

Would have followed Him all through the day.

While He preached to the crowds and made the sick well
And knelt in the garden to pray.
It is sad to remember that Christ went away
To face death alone and apart.
With no tender dog following close behind,
To comfort its Master's Heart.

And when Jesus rose on that Easter morn,
How happy He would have been,
As His dog kissed His hand and barked it's delight,
For The One who died for all men.

Well, the Lord has a dog now, I just sent Him mine,
The old pal so dear to me.
And I smile through my tears on this first day alone,
Knowing they're in eternity.
Day after day, the whole day through,
Wherever my road inclined,
Four feet said, "Wait, I'm coming with you!"
And trotted along behind.

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P.S.
I promise I won't go on and on forever about Buddy. I know others who are going through things far more painful and difficult. But I'm also reminded of my husband's words and counsel to not minimize what I'm going through or discount the loss. I honestly don't even know if anyone else will make it through this whole post, but I needed to write it, and after speaking with my publisher yesterday about this very topic, I write it here instead of my journal in the hopes that maybe it will minister to someone's heart to know they aren't alone in the pain of losing a beloved pet and that what they're going through matters!

What matters to you matters to God. ~Max Lucado

When I have a meltdown, where is God?...

2012-01-16T08:30:00.000-05:00

from the archives...

originally posted May 17, 2008

It happens to the best of us, and to the rest of us, too, and mine happened Wednesday. Yes, I had a meltdown. The dictionary defines a meltdown this way: "the melting of a significant portion of a nuclear-reactor core due to inadequate cooling of the fuel elements, a condition that could lead to the escape of radiation." So, with that being said, maybe "meltdown" is too strong a word to describe what happened to me, but in all sincerity it was a very, very bad day. It reminded me of the title of a children's book: Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, except this was Shelley's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Are you with me--the day was bad. I had a meltdown.

I wish I could say that as the rug was pulled out from under me and my heart was crushed that I handled it like the spiritual giant I wish I was...or were...I'm so glad grammar isn't graded here. I wish I could tell you I did the right thing and praised God anyways and claimed His promises for me and my loved ones. I wish...

I won't go into what happened--why relive that right?--but I will 'fess up that I shed a lot of tears, questioned God, and had a bit of a temper tantrum as well. I had a good old fashioned 24 hour pity party for 1. I told Stephen at one point in the day, through tears and all the attractive realites that accompany that level of sobbing, "I know one day I'll look back on this and I will see how God was faithful, but right now He seems a million miles away. The devil, however, feels very real and very close." And to be honest, I was a bit frustrated by the fact that I've been an avid student of the Word of God for the past 20 years now. Every time I'd start thinking the wrong thing, a Scripture or story from the Bible would pop into my head and try to burst my negative bubbles. Sometimes we just want to be upset, don't we?

Thankfully, when I am faithless, HE remains faithful. He is even called "Faithful and True." I love that. On this side of the fallout, already, I can once again sense His nearness and His concern for me--and that which concerns me--and those I love who are my concern. He sees. He cares. He is working even when we can't recognize it or see the proof of His involvement.

And He can handle our meltdowns--Praise Him for that!

I don't know where you are today. But He does. I am thankful--so thankful--that my feelings don't dictate what's true. His word is what's true.

Psalm 119:175 "Let me live that I may praise You and may Your laws sustain me."

Philippians 2:15b-16a "You will shine like stars among them in the world as you hold firmly to the word of life."

Hanging On...Or Letting Go?

2012-01-12T08:15:00.000-05:00

I don't consider myself to be any kind of expert in....well, anything really, but for this post, I'm heading in the direction of the topic of Leadership. So, to make it clear: I don't claim to be an expert in the area of leadership. Deal? There are some incredible people in our generation who are making their mark in many of our lives as they invest their wisdom and knowledge into those of us who find ourselves in a leadership position; and I'm eternally grateful for them.

With that said, I am in a position of leadership and as I seek to lead with grace and wisdom, I've learned some important things and I've made my share of observations of things that work and ones that don't.

There is one particular observation I've made that I want to address here, and would definitely invite your response and input as well. Two heads are usually better than one, and perhaps we can all learn something and become better leaders (and followers) together.

Hanging on when we should be letting go?

The observation is this: some leaders seem to be able to handle letting go of followers with little or no grievances. And some, not so much. I have my own opinions about why some struggle with this more than others, but I'm wondering if there's more to it than what I see. I think this happens in the secular world, too, but since I'm mostly in the Church/ministry world, this is the perspective I bring to the discussion.

Since Church 4 Chicks began in the fall of 2008, we've had our share of folks who have come and gone. Heck, we've had volunteers come and go and even board members! It's hard sometimes not to take their leaving personally. Someone shared with me, just this past Sunday, that we all (those of us who call ourselves Christians) have the same Good Shepherd, and that we can trust His voice when He chooses to move one of us to a different field. Perhaps He wants us to be fed differently than we have before, or with different "sheep" than we've been associating with for a while. I so appreciated hearing this and visualizing our Good Shepherd guiding each of His sheep to the very pasture each one belongs in each season of their lives.

http://dymphnaswell.blogspot.com/2011/05/happy-good-shepherd-sunday.html

As leaders, how are we to respond when someone chooses to leave our organization? How would you want to be treated if God moved YOU from your current organization?

No Answer

2012-01-05T08:30:00.000-05:00

“No Answer”

How difficult it can be to willingly choose to refuse to become defensive. We can learn a lot from Jesus—who not only gives us an example, but also empowers us to walk in victory.

Luke 23:5-9 (NIV)

⁵But they insisted, "He stirs up the people all over Judea by his teaching. He started in Galilee and has come all the way here."

⁶On hearing this, Pilate asked if the man was a Galilean. ⁷When he learned that Jesus was under Herod's jurisdiction, he sent him to Herod, who was also in Jerusalem at that time.

⁸When Herod saw Jesus, he was greatly pleased, because for a long time he had been wanting to see him. From what he had heard about him, he hoped to see him perform some miracle. ⁹He plied him with many questions, but Jesus gave him no answer.

In today’s passage, we see that Pilate and Herod—the ones in authority—were pretty impressed with Jesus, even though quite a few of the townspeople were obviously ticked off at Him. Herod was excited to meet Jesus and he hoped to see with his own eyes the things he had only been hearing. From this scenario it makes it hard to believe that this whole crucifixion thing could have ever happened to Jesus. It made no sense then, and it makes no sense now—if we look at it merely from a natural standpoint that is.

When He could have given an answer in His own defense, Jesus chose to remain silent. When He could have just said the word, and everything would have changed, He chose to say nothing. How hard that would be for me! When I feel accused, misunderstood, judged, or rejected, my first instinct is to protect myself and defend my honor and integrity. And yet, Jesus (the ultimate authority in this whole situation) chose to remain completely silent—refusing to defend Himself in any way. I’ve heard Pastor Johnny Hunt (FBC Woodstock) say on many occasions that we are never less like Jesus than when we are trying to defend ourselves. Does this mean we should never set the record straight? I don’t think so. But I do see that oftentimes we can become more concerned with what people think about us or whether or not people like us, than we are in what God is trying to do in us and through us.

Jesus could remain silent as He confidently trusted in His Heavenly Father’s purpose for His life—and His death. As Christians, we accept and believe that Jesus entered our world, knowing He would die for it. He counted the cost and willingly chose to step out of Heaven and into our world because He felt we were worth it. We, too, can choose to walk in the full assurance that our Heavenly Father’s purposes will be accomplished in our lives—regardless of the opposition or obstacles we encounter along the way.

Questions to consider:

1.) When facing criticism from others, how difficult is it for you to remain silent and allow God to be your defender?

2.) Can you think of some other Scriptures that talk about the importance of what comes out of our mouths and the importance of what does not come out of our mouths?

3.) How differently might things have turned out had Jesus given in to the pressure to answer Herod’s questions and the people’s accusations?

4.) Sometimes, we are the very ones who pester and pressure our Lord to give us an answer or show us a miracle. And sometimes, He chooses to remain silent for a time. This can be difficult for the believer, but if handled properly, can be very beneficial in bringing greater maturity to our lives. Have you ever experienced a time like this? Please feel free to share your experience and what you learned by responding in the ‘comment’ section of this webpage.

Happy Birthday, Jackie Hendrix

2012-01-03T08:15:00.000-05:00

An edited re-post in honor of a wonderful mother and
hands-down the best Mother-in-Law a girl could want.

Happy Birthday, Jackie!

I love holidays of any sort. I love any reason to celebrate actually. Life can be so hard at times, so I believe we need opportunities like this that remind us of the blessings we have. For some, though, holidays are painful reminders of just how hard life can be.

For my husband, Stephen, and for those of you for whom the Holiday Season is bittersweet at the very least, and down right heartbreaking at the worst, I dedicate this post in your honor and in memory of my mother-in-law and dear friend, Jackie Hendrix whose birthday also happens to be today. I miss her more now than when she first left us.

Recently Prince William quoted his grandmother who said, "Grief is the price we pay for love." Indeed it is.

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(Originally posted July 16, 2008 and truer now than ever before...)

Wearing the name "Hendrix" is an honor in great part to it being Jackie's last name. She never once treated me or my girls like outsiders. From the moment Stephen (surprised me and) introduced me to his parents, I was treated like one of the family. When I saw their home for the first time and all the food stored in their two pantries and garage, I was sure she was stocking up for Y2K--nope! That was just Jackie's way of caring for her family. We still laugh about me thinking it was all about Y2K. (I met Stephen November of 1999.)

Jackie is just something special and will be so very,very missed.

Jackie loved cooking--Amelia said she can imagine her cooking for everyone in heaven already! But she didn't love the cooking in and of itself, I don't believe. I observed her long enough to know that she loved cooking because she loved people. It dawned on me about 5 years ago, after knowing her for several years, that she knew exactly what each of us liked to eat--even what each one of us liked on our sandwiches and what kind of candy to get us at Easter and Christmas. She knew this about each and every child, in-law, and grandchild, yet I realized none of us knew what SHE liked on her sandwich. I would imagine her hubby knew, but that day I asked her so I would know how to fix her a sandwich. She never noticed that none of us knew. That's just the kind of person Jackie was (IS!).

We joked how she always made 2 meats and 12 vegetables for any given meal because she wanted everyone to have what they liked. (Although something was almost always inevitably forgotten in the kitchen. I'm smiling over how many times at the end of a meal, we'd hear, "OH no, I forgot the broccoli!..or potatoes..or...")

Jackie's favorite place to be: surrounded by family

Even in her pain and suffering these past few years, she never brought the attention to herself if given an opportunity to find out how others were.

Jackie also loved to shop--but again, not for Jackie or just to shop. She loved to take us girls and the kids out to lunch and shopping and always got something (at least one thing) for each grandchild.

I have already missed her so much since her stroke in September 2006--I've missed the long afternoons of hanging out at "Grandma's house" talking about the latest diets, grandkids, and most of all, our mutual love for Jesus. I wish you could have seen her when she laid eyes on Jackson for the first time. I thought she was going to glide right out of the room with him! I'm sure she was like this when each of her grandchildren were born, but I wasn't there with the others to witness that joy I know was there. I also remember her tears of joy at one of my baby showers when she said, "I never thought I'd see the day that Stephen would become a father. Legitimately." ;-) (If you know Stephen's past, you understand her meaning by that.)

She loved my husband, her youngest son, all through his addiction and destructive living for years. She often shared with me how painful those years were and how she prayed constantly for him. Her prayer life was amazing, and challenges and encourages me still. In honor of her, we named our only son after her. I have never been more thankful for that choice than I am today. Right now.

Jackie's was a life well-lived. My pastor encourages us to live to be missed, and Jackie, we already miss you. Heaven is all the more sweet to look forward to with you there.

With Much Love,
Shelley

PS...Macey says she loves you, too.

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A Memorial Fund was set up in Jackie's honor when she passed. You can find out more about this and the ministry her son, my husband, helped start by clicking here.

Lessons from the Father...

2012-01-02T13:57:00.001-05:00

These days, you'll most often find me hovered over my laptop writing the new series for Church 4 Chicks. I've really enjoyed the posts over at the C4C Blog, lately, and so if you've missed any of those, be sure to check them out here. We have been hearing from women from all over the world on the topic "Shine"--and how we, as children of our Heavenly Father, can allow our lights to shine--right where we are.

Anyhoo...I'm doing so much other writing right now, and trying to get back into the swing of things after a much-too-quickly-gone-by Holiday Season, that I wanted to share something from the archives. I wrote this when my Macey Girl was in the 5th grade--she is now a freshman in High School. Oftentimes I wonder if what I post will mean anything to anyone. Well, here I am, reading this four years later, and so glad I posted it back then. I would have forgotten this--and the lesson in it--completely.

Happy New Year from my Home to Yours,
Shelley

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Lessons from my Father

Yesterday was Awards Day at Macey's elementary school. When I got to the school I went to the Cafeteria where they normally give out the awards earned by the students. I have a 5th grader, and the only children in the whole room were much smaller than a 5th grader! I was able to find out where her class was, and entered the library quietly (because that is what you do in a library), and they had already begun. Fortunately, I got there in plenty of time to see Macey's entire class receive their awards, including her.

The thing is, she didn't KNOW I was there. I wanted so much for her to look up and see me there smiling for her and feeling the pride all parents understand--whether your child receives an award or not. We just feel proud of our children because they're our children. Because she didn't know I was there, she felt so sad--I could see it on her face. She felt forgotten, unseen, and alone in this special moment. I tried to get her attention, but she continued to look down.

Once the presentations were over and I was able to go to her, I wish you could have seen her face--it was one of those times when tears and smiles compete! When she realized I had been there all along, watching every bit of it, and participating with her, it totally made her day. She just wanted lots of hugs and lots of pictures taken! (And I was more than happy to oblige.) Before she saw me, she had been responding based on her perception, not on the truth...and then God reminded me how often I do this very thing. I'll not see Him or recognize His presence, so I behave as though He is absent, unaware, and disinterested in what is happening to me. I, too, can give into the belief that what I see equals what is true, and then become discouraged and depressed; when in reality, He has been there ALL Along!! Sometimes I don't even notice the ways He may be trying to get my attention, because I've already concluded He isn't there. What a lesson this was for me, and one I don't think I'll soon forget.

It's a party!

2011-12-14T13:08:00.000-05:00

In Honor of our Newest Series coming

January 10th at Church 4 Chicks,

We are hosting a Blog Party at the C4C Blog

HERE

You don't want to miss what the amazing authors of these posts have to say. I know you'll be encouraged, inspired, challenged, and touched by their tender, yet powerful words to us. These are some amazing voices for our generation, so hop on over and join us for some great thoughts on the topic,

"Let your light SHINE!"

If you could ask Mother Teresa for advice, what would you ask her? #Shine

2011-12-08T10:00:00.000-05:00

Can you imagine what it would be like to have some one-on-one time with Mother Teresa of Calcutta when she was very much alive serving the poorest of the poor in India? Even if you don't see eye-to-eye with her on everything, you have to admit that she was one amazing woman. I look at her pictures and I see a beautiful woman. Can you imagine what it would be like...

To see her with your own eyes?

To hear her voice saying your name?

To see her fragile, yet powerful hands touching those whom the world had forsaken?

I try to put myself there in my mind, but I can’t come close to being able to imagine an experience like this. It would be an honor that nothing could ever make you forget, right? Now imagine that you could ask this one-of-a-kind woman who walked with her Jesus in such an authentic way anything, knowing that she would share her wisdom and counsel with you. What would YOU ask Mother Teresa?

I wonder for myself what I might ask her…

"How did you come to know the Savior?"

“What made you choose this part of the world?”

“Has it all been worth it?”

“What keeps you going when discouragement is high?”

Most of us can only try to imagine such an encounter with this icon of the past century. Now, imagine getting to do this not once, but on at least three different occasions…

This was the experience that Dr. Lori Salierno had the privilege to realize when she was still a very young woman. God was already giving her influence as a communicator that few get to enjoy in their lifetime, much less while still so young. Those of us who know Lori and who have had the opportunity to sit under her teaching know that she is a woman with an insatiable hunger for God and for others to know Him well. She is the founder and CEO of Celebrate Life International, an organization with a vision to reach and mentor at-risk students all over the world. Lori is also the Founder and Lead Speaker for the WILD Women of God Conference which trains and mentors young women.

As Lori looked for women to mentor her in those early days of ministry, her greatest desire was to meet and be mentored by Mother Teresa. Talk about dreaming big!! It took years, lots of requests, incredible persistence, patience, speaking wherever she could for whatever she could get paid, and refusing to give up at the first, second, third….signs of opposition to finally get on a plane to India to work with, walk beside, and serve among Mother Teresa and the Sisters of Charity. I am still amazed that she got this chance at all, much less three times! I’ll never forget being in Lori’s home and reading a framed, handwritten letter to Lori and then realizing that this letter was from Mother Teresa herself. What a treasure!

So with this in mind, are you curious to know what advice Mother Teresa offered Lori when she earnestly sought it? After several years of persistence and all that it took to make this opportunity turn the corner from dream to reality, Lori had her shot—to ask Mother Teresa herself for her words of wisdom. Lori has shared on numerous occasions that as she asked Mother Teresa how she could make the biggest impact on her generation and even those to come, Mother Teresa offered her some very sage, completely biblical, and rather simple advice:

“Find a dark place and be a light there.”

Can it really be that simple? I think it can. I think it is. But simple doesn’t necessarily mean easy, does it? How many of us would agree, though, that the greatest fulfillment comes not from what is easiest but from what is best?

What might happen if…

What could happen if…

What will happen when…

Those of us who claim the Name of Christ begin to live our lives with the understanding and conviction that it is Christ in us who empowers us to let His light shine through our everyday lives...with intentionality....on purpose?

Matthew 5:16

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As we begin our farewells to 2011 and look forward to 2012....

What dark place exists in your world? In your community? In your own neighborhood?

How can you be a light in that place?

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As Church 4 Chicks gears up for our next series, "Shine!" we are anticipating that we will not only hear what God's Word has to say about letting our lights shine, but also following through with obedience as He gives us opportunities to do just that!

I hope you'll join us as we hear from other women who will share their hearts and messages for us beginning Monday, Dec 12 and then over the next four weeks or so on the Church 4 Chicks blog (click here).

And then, if possible, join us in person for our Winter Series which begins January 10th at Town Center Community Church in Marietta, GA. (More details at www.church4chicks.com)

Remember, “A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.”

Let your light Shine!!

I've got something to say!

2011-12-05T11:56:00.000-05:00

(It has been a while since I've posted anything, so I'm kind of making up for the lack of writing with a longer post than usual. I hope you enjoy!)

I was super excited about something I had learned as I studied God's Word on my own as a young mother of two with hardly any extra time to get a full shower (you know the kind where you actually get to shave your legs) or apply make-up, much less study the Scriptures for more than 10 minutes without interruptions or delays. I don't mean to say my children were interruptions, but any of you who have ever had small children around for very long know what I mean when I refer to them for this post in that way. Right?

I was SO hungry for God's Word and so happy that I was sitting under the teaching of some people whose walks with Christ were the kind I wanted to emulate. I felt like Horshack from the old show "Welcome Back Kotter" every Sunday morning when I was the only one (in an adults' Bible Study class) who learned the memory verse and did all of the homework given out the week before. I was growing in my walk like never before. I didn't even care that I was still the nerd as an adult that I was back in school.

I read something in Romans that just "came alive" for me for the first time back then. There is no feeling quite like a personal word from God's Word to the heart of His child. It was a big mile marker in my own journey with my Heavenly Father as I was beginning to better understand His love--real, genuine, personal love--for me. Not just for the "whole world" which is great; but something more than even that: He loves me. I was excited about this new understanding of a certain passage and shared it with someone close to me who said, "You mean you didn't already know that?" This wasn't the first time I had heard those words, and I felt embarrassed and belittled and of course somewhat deflated in my enthusiasm. I decided not to share those kinds of experiences with people anymore. I never wanted to feel that stupid again.

I have journaled most of my life, so instead of telling anyone what God was teaching me, I would just write it all down in my journal. This was my quiet refuge for years...there was no one reading these entries besides me, my God, and perhaps my guardian angel, so I could pour it all out into the pages of those books. My excitement over a new understanding of an old truth. My struggle to understand a portion of Scripture and how it compared to my concept of God or myself. My sorrows during difficult times and my joy during times when God's presence felt like a security blanket wrapped around me. My journals were my safe place to be me without any fear of judgment from others.

One person I began to open up with was Stephen Hendrix. Once, when we were on a date, he made a comment to me that he wished he could read God's Word the way I do and get out of it what I get when I read and study. This blew my mind a bit. No one had ever said anything like this to me before. (I am so thankful for my best friend who also just happens to be my husband!) I would share some things with Stephen from time to time, but still, for the most part everything I learned was written into a journal.

And then one day, God called me to be a communicator~ a voice of truth to my generation...

As time passed, and as God confirmed this call upon my life to take what He was giving to me (that up to that point only went to my children or my journals for the most part), I began to gain confidence in this call and in the fact that He had given me some valuable nuggets that weren't just for me after all.

A few years after I began to walk in this calling, I ran into a couple of women and in the brief small talk among us, one said to the other, "Do you attend Shelley's Bible Study?" Her reply surprised us both. "No. I hear her enough as it is." I hadn't had a conversation with that person in over six months at that point. Ouch.

Another time I was having lunch with some folks and in the conversation one of them was saying how he has a hard time coming up with things to say sometimes and then said to my husband, "And..." (looking at me) "no offense..." (back at Stephen) "but Shelley hardly ever shuts up." Ouch. I don't think I said two more words the rest of that lunch. Truth is, I had hardly said anything up to that point because I was trying to entertain a then much younger Jackson (my son) so that the adults could talk with one another. My husband tried to convince me that this was a compliment. (Bless his heart! lol) I told him that if one person wants to compliment another person, they should probably avoid prefacing said compliment with the words, "no offense, but..."

My journal heard a lot about that event.

I gotta be me!

I'm a very strong Choleric/Sanguine mix. This means I am pretty much the extrovert in just about every situation. The choleric in me is bold and the sanguine in me likes to party. This can be a good thing, and it can also be a bad thing at times, like when the choleric in me comes across as bossy and the sanguine wants to talk and talk and talk... (Which is just another reason why I don't drink alcohol or much caffeine! I could get myself into so much trouble!)

I tried for years and years to be more subdued, quiet, invisible, and silent...all the attributes I thought a Christian woman should be...and it only wound up making me feel miserable and depressed. But coming to understand who God made me to be and living out of that design is not always easy to do, either. I think we get comfortable pretending to be what we think others want us to be. Not everyone is comfortable with us when we are just being ourselves...or even while we are learning who that is.

I was enjoying a conversation several years back with a fellow Christian speaker/author. She is a doll. She has so much to offer and is filled with enthusiasm and grace and is just delightful to be around. As she and I talked and talked and laughed and laughed, I began to feel the pull of that old insecurity of having said too much, and so I found myself apologizing to her for this. She looked me right in the eye and said, "Shelley, God gave you the gift of words--this is your calling--don't ever forget that and don't ever be sorry for it!" What a gift those words--her words--were to me!

I tend to talk fast (so that I don't take up too much time saying too many things), and I try to use as few words as possible whenever I can. I even try to keep blog posts at a minimum and the word count as short as possible (except in this one!) I don't send a lot of emails because I know people are inundated with them as it is and I do not want to wear out my welcome in anyone's inbox. But as I was writing this latest book for my publishers at Harvest House, God really got through to me on something that He has been whispering to me for quite some time now.

I sent my manuscript for "Why Can't We All Just Get Along?!" to my editor a couple of weeks ago. She liked it, but said it needed about 20,000 more words. TWENTY THOUSAND MORE?? I was in a little bit of shock at first. But then I read what another friend wrote to me in response to this, "How wonderful that your publisher wants to hear more of what you have to say."

More? Of what I have to say?

I realized a long time ago that it is in the area of our greatest gifts and our calling that we will tend to experience our greatest insecurity and attack from the enemy of our souls. Just read through a few stories in Scripture where God called someone for a specific task and you'll find this scenario played out again and again. (Read Jeremiah 1 for just one of many examples!) We need to be aware of this so that we aren't caught completely off-guard when (not if) it happens to us. So it's no longer a surprise to me when that little voice of condemnation goes off in my head: "Shut up, Shelley, no one cares to hear what you have to say."

Well, God is speaking and I am listening. Although I do believe that we don't need to talk just to hear our own voices or opinions, and although I get that I don't need to dominate conversations or even blog spaces, I also believe that when God has called someone to be a communicator, He intends for that person to communicate. The usual way for this to happen is to use words--not always--but a pretty good portion of that time.

I've got something to say. Not because I'm all-wise or because I deem this to be true. It is true because it is a part of who God has created me to be: a voice of truth in my generation.

I told my husband, Stephen, just this morning that I have been wrestling with this post for a few days. To post or not to post-that is the question! I just wrote an entire book on the struggle to find peace in the midst of challenging relationships with difficult people. I don't want to come across in the book or in this post as bitter or as though I'm trying get back at people who have hurt me. But in order to share my story and what God has taught me with any level of authenticity, I have to share real experiences that have helped to shape me into the person I am today.

I feel compelled to share this -not so much for my voice to be heard as much as for the woman out there who needs to read it. To know she is not alone. To know that someone else has felt this kind of angst, too. To know that if God has called her to something (1) she will probably struggle with some insecurities in that very area and (2) His calling on her life is secure--even if she is not. This means that if she will turn to Him with all of who she is, including her insecurities, she will begin to experience greater freedom as she allows Him to work on her heart as He transforms her mind. This is what the Father continues to do in my life for sure! I haven't arrived by anyone's definition of arriving, but I am thankful that I am not where I was even a few years ago...or even where I was before my editor asked for more.

Even as I enter my 8th year of public ministry, I'm still surprised when I hear a woman say after I've spoken, "I could have listened to you all day," because the message I received from those who have wounded me most in my life is, "You have nothing of value to share." God is redeeming those words and healing those old wounds. I find myself becoming more comfortable in the fact that not everyone is going to want to hear what I have to say or read what I have to write--and that is totally okay. God hasn't called me to speak into every life, but to be faithful to speak. In fact, there are some amazing communicators in our day with whom I personally just don't connect. And that is okay, too. I don't have time to listen to every word from everyone who has something great to say.

‘Be who you are and say what you feel,

because those who mind don’t matter,

and those who matter don’t mind.’

Dr Seuss

So, for those of you who have made it through this entire post with me, may I just say "Thank you" for listening and may I also encourage you to walk fully in the calling of God upon your life. There's a big world out there who desperately needs and awaits your unique contribution! God has given each of us a unique way to impact our world--don't be one of the 90% who dies with the dream still inside of them. Don't sit on your gifts just to make others more comfortable. Don't be afraid to take a few risks now and then. Be one of the 10% who fully lives and fully engages in the life God has given her!!

From great weakness to incredible power #OnlyGod

2011-11-03T11:12:00.000-04:00

I feel weak, worn out, and yes, even discouraged today. And, as only my Heavenly Father could do, He brought me back to this post I wrote a couple of years ago. I had completely forgotten I had ever written this.

What a sweet Savior, who not only knows our weaknesses, but also delights in standing with us in all of the ups and downs of our daily lives and routines. I don't know what tomorrow holds, but thankfully, the Jesus I read about here in this passage, really is the One who holds my future. And in that reality, I find tremendous hope, and I feel my spirit lifting.

Luke 4 (The Message)

"Tested by the Devil

^1-2Now Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, left the Jordan and was led by the Spirit into the wild. For forty wilderness days and nights he was tested by the Devil. He ate nothing during those days, and when the time was up he was hungry.

³The Devil, playing on his hunger, gave the first test: "Since you're God's Son, command this stone to turn into a loaf of bread."

⁴Jesus answered by quoting Deuteronomy: "It takes more than bread to really live."

^5-7For the second test he led him up and spread out all the kingdoms of the earth on display at once. Then the Devil said, "They're yours in all their splendor to serve your pleasure. I'm in charge of them all and can turn them over to whomever I wish. Worship me and they're yours, the whole works."

⁸Jesus refused, again backing his refusal with Deuteronomy: "Worship the Lord your God and only the Lord your God. Serve him with absolute single-heartedness."

^9-11For the third test the Devil took him to Jerusalem and put him on top of the Temple. He said, "If you are God's Son, jump. It's written, isn't it, that 'he has placed you in the care of angels to protect you; they will catch you; you won't so much as stub your toe on a stone'?"

¹²"Yes," said Jesus, "and it's also written, 'Don't you dare tempt the Lord your God.'"

¹³That completed the testing. The Devil retreated temporarily, lying in wait for another opportunity.

¹⁴Jesus returned to Galilee powerful in the Spirit..."

As I read this, several things came to my mind. For one, Jesus was in the will of God and full of the Spirit of God when the temptation/time of testing came. He prepared for it by humbling Himself through fasting, but He was physically drained (weak with hunger) when the enemy's tactics got intense. Remember, He was being tempted the entire 40 days, but when the enemy saw he wasn't getting anywhere, he upped the ante.

~You can be physically weak, and spiritually strong, and the enemy will come against you in any area of weakness he can find. And he will find it.

~He started with something that seemed logical, "You're hungry? You're God? Prove it. Make yourself something to eat." He loves to hit us in the area of our identity. He tries to get us to accept the lesser things rather than the greatest things God has for us. Jesus knew this, so He didn't give in to His temporary needs in sacrifice of the eternal rewards.

~The next temptations grew in intensity and yet Jesus continued to choose with His will to trust in the Word of God rather than even give the enemy an inch. He didn't contemplate what the enemy was offering. Don't play around with temptation or the lies of the enemy. Know who you are and whose you are by spending quality time in God's Word. (Romans 12:1-2)

The biggest thing that hit me between the eyes, though, was the last verse above. Oftentimes when we read this account, we stop where it says that Satan left until a more opportune time; and we need to be mindful that he will return for more. But we need not miss the verse that follows: "Jesus returned to Galilee powerful in the Spirit." Where Jesus was full of the Spirit when He entered the time of testing, He left that time POWERFUL in the Spirit! He didn't lose one single thing during that time (except a few pounds). He GAINED! He gained power from the Spirit that already filled Him!

I have been asking God more and more to fill me with His Holy Spirit; that I would be led by Him and not my own wisdom or understanding. And in His merciful and gentle way, He has done so. But I can't even describe sufficiently how much it means to me that He showed me that as I move through a time of testing and difficulty, that I can look forward to coming out of that time POWERFUL in the Spirit! I need not fear, I need to take courage that there is something waiting on the other side of the Wilderness experiences I go through from time to time and remember that there is something Powerful awaiting.

If you're going through a challenging time and feel tested to your very limits, take courage my friend! If you know Christ and if His Spirit lives in you, then POWER awaits you! Don't give in to the temptation, however logical and practical it may seem. God has something greater than anything you could come up with in your own power and He is preparing you through this season for that very thing He has prepared for you!

Abide in His Word. Be a doer and not a hearer only. Humble yourself under the mighty hand of the Almighty God. There will be a better day!

Power!!

Wow!

Hope has changed everything for ME!

2011-10-31T11:51:00.000-04:00

Photo by Amelia Grace Photography

It's a little after 11 a.m. on October 31st and I've been reflecting a lot lately about how much things changed for my family around 6 p.m. on October 31st, 2010. At 11 a.m. that day, our family was in church and looking forward to a fun afternoon and evening with our extended family. We have a tradition, which I'm preparing for even as I type this. Every Halloween for about as far back as I can remember, I make a bunch of yummy chili and all the fixins' (as we say in GA) so that we can enjoy the time with the kids, the costumes, and of course, the CANDY!!

My Macey Girl is especially fond of this tradition.

We could never have anticipated how much our lives would change that day. We went from fun and celebration into a nightmare from which we could not wake up. We were blindsided in such a devastating way. Everything seemed to go dark. I won't go into all the details here, because I don't want to get caught up in what happened that afternoon that changed everything for us (but you're welcome to read last year's post by clicking here if you'd like).

I'd rather take the time to focus on the incredible goodness of our God!

When life throws us a curve ball such as the one we dealt with last year, it's so easy to get our focus off of God's character as we try to come to terms with His ways. Life doesn't necessarily make sense. Life is most certainly not fair. I don't know why God allowed my daughter to be wounded in the way that she was. I may never understand it fully. But this I do know. God is always, always, always GOOD. And this reality (which is far more concrete than a wish, a desire, or a belief) gives me incredible HOPE.

I can Hang Onto Promises Eternal because of the ONE who makes and keeps those promises!

"Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise."

Hebrews 10:23 (NLT)

I don't know what you're experiencing in this season in your life. You may be in a time of celebration with smooth sailing. Those times are awesome! ENJOY! :-) But you may be, like many today, in a season that brings with it great challenge, confusion, and a pull downward. If that's you and you'd like to hear more about how Hope Changes Everything, I invite you to visit the Church 4 Chicks site
for video messages outlining some of the many promises we can hang onto! (Just go to the media page for those videos and other messages.)

Even when life gets dark and chaotic, we can trust the One who is never in the dark!

"...even the darkness will not be dark to you;

the night will shine like the day,

for darkness is as light to you."

Psalm 139:12 (TNIV)

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What about you? What promises of God do you hang onto when hope is hard to come by?

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PS... However your family handles the October 31st date each year, I pray that you'll be safe, make great memories, and have some fun, too! Oh, and chocolate. May you be richly blessed with some chocolate. :-)

Want to make an even greater impact tomorrow than you are making today? #DCW11

2011-10-21T18:34:00.001-04:00

Photo by Dynamic Communicators Workshop

It reminded me of the "Planes, Trains, and Automobile" movie, but thankfully without all the drama... and swearing. The trip to Vail this past Monday was relatively smooth, but I'm learning that my 37 year old self doesn't travel as well as my 27 year old self once did. Twenty-three hours after rolling out of bed (on only three hours of sleep the night before, thanks to a false alarm by our smoke detector and a very panicked little brown-eyed boy), 2 cars, 2 planes, a couple of "trains" at the airports, and not enough coffee, I arrived on a platform to give a 5 minute speech in front of a group of complete strangers. Strangers I knew would be critiquing my every move. My every word. My every...everything....

Photo by Dynamic Communicators Workshop

I gave probably the worst 5 minute speech of my life. (And, no, I'm not exaggerating.) I felt the disappointment in myself. I wanted to bring something better to that first impression. I've been speaking publicly in various venues, on live TV, on radio, on a national news channel, for the past 7 years for goodness' sake; so I should be able to do this, right? Pressured by the reality that we don't get a second chance to make a good first impression, I wanted to succeed.

I failed.

That whole evening, because of my absolute exhaustion, I felt as though I was having an out of body experience. I was embarrassed and even angry with myself for even making the trip so far away from Home--from the place where no one cares if I'm impressive or not. I was now frustrated that I would miss Church 4 Chicks the next night. C4C has become such a place of grace for many women--this one included, so I can have an "off night" there and still be loved and accepted just as I am. I wondered if I had made the right decision to travel so far, take such a risk, and pay such a price.

My small group leader, Candie, got up to give me her impression and suggestions. She was firm, yet kind, in what she had to say. I sensed myself (and heard myself) pulled to defend my poor first impression. I wanted a do-over button. Heck, I wanted a time machine!! I wanted to be able to go back in time and not even make the effort to attend the conference at all.

And then it was time for the people in my small group to tell me what they thought. I thought to myself, "Here it goes...they're all wondering how in the world I ever got even this far in what I do." And, you know what, even though I just gave the worst public speech of my adult life, I didn't die. I was still breathing in and out. No one came and took away my "communicator" card. No one shamed me out of the room and off the mountain for my weak performance.

These people who were strangers only minutes before, became dear friends in just as many minutes. From them I received the gift of honest feedback, helpful criticism, and heartfelt encouragement. And, I was given the privilege of offering them those same gifts in return.

I want to encourage you to move past your comfort zone and take the risk and make the investment to go to the next level in whatever it is you do with your everyday life.

Do you want to make an even greater impact tomorrow than you are today? If the answer is "no," feel free to move on to something else. If the answer is "yes," then I invite you to keep reading.

Are you a stay-at-home mom? Are you a school teacher? Are you a musician? Are you an IT person? Are you a student? There is a world of people, right in our own spheres of influence, who are either benefiting to the max because we are in their lives or are missing out on what they could be experiencing because we haven't yet stretched ourselves enough to reach even our own potential. How do we take others to a place we ourselves have never been?

I mentioned that my own experience equipped me in three key ways, and I want to share those with you here:

I received honest feedback...

The more comfortable we become in the environments where we work, serve, or lead, the easier it is to put ourselves in neutral and begin coasting, rather than moving into a higher gear to take those we influence to a higher level with us. It doesn't have to be this way!

One thing I noticed right away while in the high altitude of the Colorado mountains was that it was harder to breathe there than at home closer to ground. I got out of breath going up just one flight of stairs! And, similarly, when we open ourselves up to honest feedback, we won't feel comfortable with it at first--it might be hard to breathe--and that's okay! But if we continue, we begin to adjust to that higher altitude of living and begin to find ourselves able to breathe a little better.

By submitting ourselves voluntarily to people who are given the permission to give us their honest feedback, we give ourselves the gift of becoming better equipped to make an even greater impact than we've ever made before. We ALL need this kind of feedback. It doesn't matter our trade or profession. Honest feedback gives us an edge that most people won't ever experience because of their fear of the whole truth.

Here's a little secret: you won't die. You might find it hard to breathe, but you won't die. ;-)

I received helpful criticism...

As the wonderful folks, pictured above, gave me their honest feedback, they also gave me helpful criticism. They didn't just give me feedback on the things they liked about my speech or style. They pointed out the fact that I tend to move a little too much when speaking, and that I tend to talk too fast for most listeners (which I've heard many times before and always need to be reminded of!) This criticism was far more helpful than if they had only offered that I did a "great job."

You and I need to have people in our lives who are invited to be critical (constructively, of course!) of our work. My writing, my speaking, my parenting, my life, will be far more effective because there are people who have, not only my permission, by my invitation to offer helpful criticism.

There is no point at which you can say,

"Well, I'm successful now. I might as well take a nap."

~Carrie Fisher

(In fact, as I type out this post, I have a little critic reading and commenting on this. My son, Jackson, believes this post could be a lot "juicier!" so I'm working to spice it up a bit! Thanks kid...)

Not only did I receive honest feedback and helpful criticism, I was honored and humbled by their heartfelt encouragement...

With Candie Blankman, my small group leader

These amazing people opened up their lives and invited the rest of us to speak to their strengths and weaknesses as well. By the second of the three nights (and speeches) we were all wearing the same jersey, so to speak. We knew we were all a part of the same team and we wanted each member to be equipped to give their best! Through the leadership of our small group leader, Candie, we were all able to give the kind of encouragement that supersedes any kind of fluff or generic compliment. We were able to give genuine verbal blessings to one another and share how much potential and value we could see in each of the group members' areas of greatest influence. Some of our group were pastors, some in the education system, some writers and speakers, one is an IT pro--all of us communicators.

And, now, because we opened ourselves up, took the risk, and weathered the crazy emotional ups-and-downs, we are better communicators than we were just 5 days ago.

Some people dream of success... while others wake up and work hard at it.

~Author Unknown

I want to challenge you with this: Are you opening yourself up to honest feedback, helpful criticism and heartfelt encouragement from others? Do you intentionally invite others to speak truth into your life? If you'll do this, I promise that you and every one you influence will be impacted in a greater and longer lasting way as a result.

***********

SCORRE Conference 2011

For more information on Dynamic Communicators Conference, now known as the "SCORRE Conference" led by Ken Davis and Michael Hyatt, along with some A-mazing world changers, please visit www.dynamiccommunicators.com

Hope for the Hurting Heart by Stephanie Shott #BlogParty2011

2011-10-13T08:00:00.000-04:00

So honored to have my sweet and dear friend, Stephanie Shott, sharing with us how Hope Changes Everything. Stephanie's own story might surprise you, and once you hear from her here, you're going to want to hear more from her! That's why I've included her website and bio below her video.

Stephanie--thank you for being a part of our blog party and this series at Church 4 Chicks!!

About Steph

from www.stephanieshott.com

ME, IN A NUTSHELL...

I know this is where you generally find the typical bio, but I thought it would be fun to share the 4-1-1 on the “personal” me and you can find the more formal bio pasted below. But first, here’s me in a nutshell.

Me - Often goofy, never perfect, love to laugh (especially at myself). Passionate about Jesus, passionate about being passionate. Not a girly girl, but secretly want to be. Just learning to accessorize, don’t know my colors, hate to shop, have a love/hate relationship with menapause, love missions, hate to fly, trying to find someone to nominate me for “What Not to Wear.”

Family - I’m married to my best friend who thinks he’s funnier than I am. More talented, yes...funnier, no way. He’s a drummer, a surfer and a man of God who is absolutely passionate about reaching this generation for Christ. I’m blessed to be “mom” to two young men who are as different as night and day. Karl (my oldest) is Mr. Sports. He loves every kind of sport on planet earth. He is married to a sweet and godly young woman and they are parents to my first grandgirl. Oh my, life as an abuela (grandma) is so sweet! DJ (my youngest) is Mr. Talent. Singer, songwriter, musician, graphic designer, ect… He’s my go-to guy for all things computer.

Tidbits - Here’s a little-known tidbit of information about yours truly. I was adopted. My birth mom was raped - I was the result. I met her when I was 27 and was elated to find out she was a believer. God has blessed me beyond measure with two wonderful moms. One that loved me past the pain of rape and chose life for me instead and one who would love me and raise me as her own.

Transforming Hope by Karol Ladd (@KarolLadd) #BlogParty2011

2011-10-08T13:54:00.000-04:00

So thankful for my wonderful friends who have been willing to share their Hope stories with all of us. You will definitely be encouraged as Karol shares her Hope Changes Everything insight here:

Thank you, Karol!! This chick appreciates you so much!

About Karol

Dynamic, Deliberate, Delightful

Karol Ladd is known as “the Positive Lady.” Her heart’s desire is to inspire women with a message of lasting hope and Biblical truth. Karol is open, honest and real in both her speaking and her writing.

Formerly a teacher, Karol is the best-selling author of over 25 books including The Power of a Positive Mom,The Power of a Positive Woman and Thrive, Don’t Simply Survive.

As a gifted communicator and dynamic leader, Karol is a popular speaker to women’s organizations, church groups and corporate events across the nation. Karol teaches a Bible study in North Dallas called the Positive Woman Connection, and her lessons are offered on DVD through Harvest House Publishers. Karol is a frequent guest on radio and television programs.

Her most valued role is that of wife to Curt and mother to daughters Grace and Joy

Find Karol online at www.karolladd.com and find all her social networking connections there as well!

Hear more from Cindy Beall here!

2011-10-05T08:15:00.000-04:00

Cindy Beall shared her post for our Hope Blog Party earlier in the series and you can find that right here. I also wanted to share a little more with you about her because she will be a featured guest on tonight's Atlanta Live (www.watc.tv and WATC 57 from 7-9 PM ET. If you miss it tonight, it will re-air Thursday morning from 7-9 AM)

Thank you, Cindy and Chris, for sharing your journey with us, and helping us to learn how to better "extract the precious from the worthless."

Hope Changes Everything! #BlogParty2011 Continues

2011-10-03T12:15:00.000-04:00

Photo by Amelia Grace Photography

"My aim is to raise hopes by pointing the way to life without end. This is the life God promised long ago—and he doesn't break promises! And then when the time was ripe, he went public with his truth. I've been entrusted to proclaim this Message by order of our Savior, God himself."

From Titus 1:1, The Message

I totally identify with this statement made by the Apostle Paul to Titus. As God continues to open doors to places where I can be a voice of truth, offering genuine hope based on His character and promises, may I be found faithful.

If you'd like, you can watch a clip from my most recent appearance on Fox News Live hosted by Lauren Green here where we discussed the topic of redemption and hope for change:

I can't begin to tell you how much I covet and appreciate your prayers for me. The last thing I want to be in this generation is a "clanging cymbal," y'know what I mean? Being able to speak truth, but not in love. May I always point people to the One in whom real Hope is found and may I do so in love and with grace.

Hope Changes Everything, by John Boring #BlogParty2011

2011-09-29T09:25:00.001-04:00

Need HOPE in your present circumstances? I can think of no one better to speak into this reality you are experiencing than my good, kind, and wise friend, John Boring. If you scroll through this Blog Party, you'll find he has been a big part of this so far. That's just the kind of guy he is.

Photo by Amelia Grace Photography

Hope for Suzi

While we were on vacation in San Diego in July, my lovely bride of 34 years complained about the weight she was gaining, which seemed to be piling on in her midsection. She is a small petite woman who eats right and exercises regularly so the weight gain was put down to the indolent life we were enjoying in the beautiful Southern California climate.

When we returned to Phoenix she began to experience pain in her lower right abdomen and a visit to her doctor resulted in a CT Scan, which disclosed small tumors. A needle biopsy confirmed that she had cancer, something called Peritoneal Carcinamatosis. This is considered to be a metastasized cancer, meaning that the primary cancer lurked elsewhere in her body. Tests were ordered quickly to find the host cancer and Suzi soon had a colonoscopy and then a PET-CT Scan. Meanwhile, the oncologist sent the tissue samples back for reexamination and it was determined she had ovarian cancer.

My heart sank to the floor and all I could think about was Suzi’s impending demise. I didn’t see how she could survive this onslaught, especially after reading up about her abdominal cancer. This enemy explodes against the lining separating the stomach from the intestines, and literally hundreds of tumors appear in that area, much as the splatter of a paint brush flung against a wall. The information I was picking up said surgery was not an option and only about fifty percent of those offered chemotherapy responded favorably to the drugs. It had for years been considered to be a fatal affliction.

During the day I did my best to keep a positive appearance when around Suzi, but my heart was weeping at the thought that I would lose her one day soon. I lay awake at night, unable to sleep, thinking about a life without her, reliving the wonderful life she had provided for us with her beautiful smile, her lovely-always-upbeat outlook on life, the way she cared for others and how tender her heart. I made myself sick with worry and in my own heart, I had given up on any hope that she could survive this.

Suzi’s primary doctor referred us to a wonderful oncologist and new information began to trickle in. He, in turn, referred us to a great GYN surgical doctor who offered even more optimism and hope, and for the first time I began to think this was not going to be the end of times for us, that they could indeed beat this monster that was taking over my beautiful Suzi.

Prayers from our many friends, offering even more hope and reminding me to keep my faith intact and my trust in God alive and well, brought me out of my funk and I began to see rays of light through all of this darkness. Now, with surgery scheduled for Wednesday, September 21^st*, at a good hospital here in Phoenix, I’m up and excited to begin this journey. Hope has changed everything for us, for good people have told us that we can beat this thing. Prayers are being said and God is listening. My trust in Him was put to the test and I failed to respond as I should have, but I’m back on the path now. I have HOPE and with HOPE and God’s love I am optimistic that we will prevail. We can still use some prayers; this thing is just beginning; please send some up for Suzi if you will.

Photo by Amy Reid (Also a Blog Party 2011 Writer)

*****************

Read what John's pastor and our mutual friend and hero says of him:

"John Boring didn't always know how to love his wife exceedingly well back in the day. I think that's well documented. But now, in the season where everything beautiful, deep, real, strong, faithful and loving is needed by his bride, there is John gently walking with her in the backyard, sitting together, smiling, listening to birds. There He is trusting God, entering in fully, protecting and cherishing. There he is caring for her with such a servant's goodness. There she is, experiencing the love she married him for. Christ in John Boring is a sight to behold. Christ in Suzi Boring is so bright and unquenchable. For this God created marriage."

~John Lynch

*******************

*You can connect with John Boring and get the latest updates on Suzi's progress by following this link to his page here. Thank you for offering your prayers on behalf of my friends.

2011-09-26T08:15:00.002-04:00

Join us for our BRAND NEW series, "Hope Changes Everything!" at Church 4 Chicks! We're meeting in a new location: Town Center Community Church, located at 1040 Blackwell Rd in Marietta, GA.

7:00 p.m. to 8:30 p.m.

Bring your meal and come early for

Chick Chat

beginning at 6:15 p.m.

Tuesdays

September 27-November 15

Our Pearl Story (Part 6) #HopeChangesEverything #BlogParty2011

2011-09-23T08:15:00.001-04:00

Thank you for sharing this journey with me and my Macey Girl. :-)

After leaving the meeting, I was tempted to just go home and have a good cry while researching what I could find about Asperger's Syndrome, but went ahead to work out. I figured maybe the exercise would help me balance the mental and emotional stress, and better enable me to hear the Father's voice over the noise of my own confusion and uncertainty. I am so glad I walked into that gym.

As soon as I got there, I bumped into a friend. As soon as she asked me "how are you?" the dam burst. Well, almost. I held it together enough to not drawn attention to myself, but began to tell her what had just happened at the IEP meeting. I said, "I'm not sure if you've ever heard of this, it has a strange name, but I think my daughter might have Asperger's Syndrome." I couldn't believe what she said next. "Oh yeah, I know all about it. In fact my mom has worked with kids with Asperger's Syndrome for years. I'm sure she'd love to talk with you." And right there, the journey to understanding my child better truly began.

From that conversation, God continued to lead me to people who either work with those who have Asperger's, to those who have Asperger's themselves. It was like they came out of hiding and into my life! I began devouring books and blogs and everything I could find so that I could learn everything I could learn. One thing led to another and we were able to find a psychologist to work with us, do some additional testing, and discover her diagnosis. I learned that girls with Asperger's are often not diagnosed until adolescence and even adulthood because it manifests itself so differently in girls than in boys.

As I began to understand better, I was beginning to get to know my Macey so much better. This has been SUCH a gift to our whole family! We have learned not to take things she says or does so personally. We realize she isn't being difficult when she says, "Turn that down, it hurts my ears," or when she insists on wearing comfortable clothes. It hasn't made life completely easy--not at all--but it has increased our peace and our appreciation for the unique ways the Creator chooses to fashion each and every one of us.

In June, Macey and I were headed somewhere by ourselves. Anyone who knows her knows that one of her major requests from me is that she have alone time with just me. She's been this way since she was very young, and continues to want this still. So, as we were riding along together, talking, she told me that she had done a project at school on the meaning of her name. She said she had a really hard time finding the meaning for "Macey." She asked me if I knew what it meant.

I can't begin to describe to you how significant that question was or the moments that followed. You see, Macey wasn't my first choice for her name. It was her dad's choice. I wasn't crazy about it at first, but it grew on me once I learned that one of the meanings for this name is "Pearl." Her dad was a jeweler at the time, and I thought that was pretty. On that warm day, driving along the road, talking to Macey, I realized that this was God's chosen name for Macey.

I asked her if she knew how pearls develop. When she said no, I began to tell her. "Macey, pearls don't just happen. Pearls take a lot of time--years even, for the most precious ones. A pearl develops in the secret, dark place inside of an oyster, and only when that oyster has had something outside of it--an irritation of some kind--enter into it. As that oyster just does what it was created to do--respond to the irritation--a coating is created over that piece of sand or whatever got into it, and over time, a beautiful, valuable pearl is created." She liked that story. And then it hit me. And I said, "Macey, I believe that God wanted you to know that He is writing your pearl story. I believe that long ago, He knew you were going to deal with more irritations than the rest of us. I think He wanted your name to be significant so that you would remember that every time you deal with something that bothers or upsets you--something that other people don't seem to be affected by--God is developing a beautiful, rare, priceless and wonderful pearl right inside of you. And maybe people don't see it right now, but one day, in His perfect timing, people are going to get to see that Pearl that He is creating in you right now."

She loved that. I loved that. We were both in tears. My child who thinks in pictures-- because her God didn't create her broken, just different, and designed her to think in pictures--was given a name that had a symbol attached to it: a Pearl.

Later that same day I gave her a simple little necklace with a pearl inside the pendant. It's kind of hidden inside, so you have to know it's there to see it. I gave it to her and told her she could wear it or hang it up somewhere or put it where she could be reminded that her Heavenly Father is writing her pearl story each and every day.

Later that day, I saw her wearing it. And I've rarely seen her without it since.

Soon after, something happened that really upset her. She was confused by someone's tone and facial expression. We talked about it for a few minutes and then she said, "Do you think this is part of my pearl story?" And I was so happy to say, "Absolutely, sweet girl, I do."

It's only been about two months since I used the term Asperger's Syndrome with Macey. I just felt that nudge of the Spirit that said, "It's time." I drew a picture of the Autism spectrum and explained some of the things I had learned. I wasn't sure how she would respond, but I wanted her to hear it from me, and not from anyone else. I knew, no matter how she responded, she would take it from me better than anyone else. It's just the way things are between us. Her response melted my heart. She said, "You mean that my brain doesn't work like other people's brains, and that it has some parts that might seem broken, but that God could use this in a really good way?" I wanted to jump up and do a happy dance. She got it. She doesn't have a defective or broken brain, her brain just works differently than mine does. Who knows, perhaps mine is the one that has the broken parts.

****************************************************************
As we continue this journey, I'm confident I'll share more about what I learn from my children, and how God uses Asperger's Syndrome specifically, in our family's journey. God seems to use my children more than any other relationship to help me embrace the truth that He really does love us all..."Equally, but uniquely," as my friend John Lynch has so eloquently said.

Thank you for your patience over this past week and I've shared just a glimpse into what this past year has held for me. I covet your prayers for wisdom in leading, not only a ministry to women, but in ministry first and foremost right here at home. Thank you!

****************************************************************
These "Pearl Story" posts were originally posted about a year ago. Since then, God has walked with us through another dark valley. He continues to bring healing and wholeness to our hearts as He reveals His gracious nature and trustworthy character to us --even through those experiences we wouldn't wish on any other soul. God is good. As a friend of mine says, "Life is hard. God is good. Don't confuse the two." Even when we don't understand His ways, we can fully trust His character.

Isn't she beautiful? :-)

Our Pearl Story (Part 5) #HopeChangesEverything #BlogParty2011

2011-09-23T08:15:00.000-04:00

Well, we're almost there...just a couple of posts to go...but even these are still just the beginning for those of us walking this journey with our Macey-girl.

After the whole nightmarish episode with DFACS, I spoke with Macey about how big of a deal this was. She had no idea. She was just telling her friend about her "food shelf," then the friend told a teacher who thought it sounded awful. The teacher told the counselor. The counselor called DFACS. I still would have appreciated a call to us first--this would have really cleared things up; but I'm thankful that we were able to get it all dealt with in a timely and fairly non-traumatic way.

I asked Macey to think about how she felt about what had happened and she said, "You know when you're washing dishes and you have that one dish that doesn't want to get clean; and no matter how hard you scrub, there's this place on it that won't scrub off?" I said, "yes," and she replied, "I feel like that dirty dish."

For 13 years I was getting to know Macey to the best of my ability, but I really didn't know why she acted the way she did or why things would anger her so much or why she could experience the exact same situation as the rest of us in the family, but be affected by it and remember it completely differently than the rest of us. Again, I was praying for God to redeem her filter so she wouldn't have a wrong view of the world, of God, of her family and friends, or of herself.

Around Macey's 13th birthday, my sister sent me an email sending me to a link about a form of Autism called "Asperger's Syndrome." I can't believe I had never heard of it before then. With all the info out there and as much as I study and read, I can only surmise that for some reason, God withheld that information until He knew we were ready to receive it. Up to that point, I had always thought I was just dealing with a strong-willed child who also had a hearing impairment--which would explain some of what life was like with Macey, but still did not give us the clearest picture.

I began to research Asperger's Syndrome, which also typically includes Sensory Perception Disorder, and as I researched it, some of it seemed to fit Macey, but not all of it. I talked to one of Macey's teachers who insisted she knew all about Asperger's and that it was her belief that Macey did not have this. So, I shelfed the topic, and went on with life--struggling with Macey's perceptions, reactions and confusing behavior...until this past spring.

I was meeting with Macey's teachers for her annual IEP (Individualized Education Plan), which she has had since preschool due to her hearing impairment. As the teachers, counselors, and I discussed Macey's struggles and the desire we all had to help her to the best of our abilities, we agreed to do some more testing for possible learning disabilities.

As I left that meeting, I headed to the gym, and fell apart in the car. I wept for my child who I wanted (and want) so desperately to be equipped to love her life and to find success in relationships. I teach my children that if you can be successful in relationships, you'll be successful in life. But if you never learn to be successful in relationships, you'll never be successful in life. I'm so far less concerned with the grades on a report card than I am with how my children learn to relate to other people. And, Macey was struggling with both.

I had not thought about Autism or Asperger's Syndrome in months. And, honestly, out of nowhere, the terms came to my mind. I began on that drive to the gym to talk to God about this possibility, and asked that He show me if this is truly what we were dealing with. After all, He created her, so He would know, right? :)

Stay tuned....more tomorrow...

(Thank you for reading and sharing this journey!)

Our Pearl Story... (Part 4) #HopeChangesEverything #BlogParty2011

2011-09-22T08:15:00.003-04:00

So, I was scrambling to get some work finished since it was the last day of school for all the kids and I wanted to have everything done so we could celebrate and enjoy our evening and weekend together. Because it was the last week of school, and there had been class parties and such, I had let some housework go, with plans to get caught up over the weekend.

And then I noticed I had a voice mail on my cell phone. The phone had not signaled me that I had gotten a call, so I checked the voice mail. It was a woman from our county's Department of Family and Children's Services. When she mentioned she needed me to call her right back, I naturally figured she wanted to talk with me to get information that would be helpful with another child's case--possibly one of the kids in the neighborhood or something.

I never expected to hear what she said when I returned her call. "Mrs. Hendrix, there has been a complaint filed against you and I need to come to your house as soon as possible." Time stopped. I was horrified and shocked. I couldn't imagine anything that could have prompted anyone to file a complaint against me. She offered to come the following Tuesday after the Memorial Day Weekend break, but my heart and mind couldn't handle that long of a wait to get things resolved. I asked her to come out that day. Her tone and her words sounded like I had already been accused even though I had not had a chance to find out (because she couldn't discuss it over the phone) what I had even been accused of doing.

She came out that day and said, "a complaint has been made about how you handle food in your home." What???

This went from being frightening to being really odd. She went on to explain, "We were told that you put food on certain shelves with your children's names on them, and if your children don't do their chores, they don't get any food. We were also told that you no longer cook meals for your children for dinner." All of a sudden, this was starting to make a little more sense...and when it sounded like this, it DID sound awful. So I simply told her what I could imagine happened:

"This came to you from Macey, right?"

"Yes."

"And she mentioned to someone that we have given each of the kids a shelf with snacks (food) on it and we put the food onto the shelves each week and they're only allowed to have those replenished once a week, right?"

"That's what we were told."

"And Macey said that I don't 'cook' dinner much anymore, correct?"

"Yes ma'am."

I then went on to show her our two refrigerator/freezers full of food, plus two pantries full of even more food--and this was on the last day of the work week, meaning we would be grocery shopping the next day. I showed her the shelves with the kids names on them, and I explained that we put sugary treats, snack cakes, and the like on those shelves each week so that the kids have access to their own treats. We explained that this became necessary because Macey didn't understand that it was unhealthy to eat an entire box of Little Debbie snack cakes in one day-not to mention it was inconsiderate to take them all and not share with her brother and sister. This was an attempt, which has actually worked pretty well, to teach her to respect other people and their boundaries in addition to expecting others to respect hers.

I went on to tell her that they had plenty of other healthy snacks in the refrigerator and in the pantry (which she saw for herself), but that these shelves were specifically for things for which a parent wouldn't want their child to have an unlimited access.

I explained that we were teaching our children that since we're all part of the same team, we need to help each other out with household chores, so if they didn't help out with their chores, there was a good chance someone else (the grocery shopper) might not get to purchase those extra things each week since he/she would have to spend that time taking care of someone else's unmet responsibility.

As for cooking, Macey was right. I don't do a whole lot of "get the pots and pans out and make a whole dinner from scratch" anymore like I did years ago. This is a season in our lives that makes that nearly impossible. As the girls entered high school and middle school and nights became filled up with band practice, karate, Church 4 Chicks, etc, I chose to do less cooking and more warming up, or purchasing dinner. We eat dinner, of course, but I was doing less "cooking."

The case worker changed her tone completely, and explained that as she spoke with my other children, what they said lined up perfectly with what I was telling her. She also said, "Macey really needs to understand how big of a deal this is..." When this whole uncomfortable and even embarrassing ordeal was dealt with and put behind us, the real journey to discovering what was really going on with Macey was just beginning. I'm so thankful that my Heavenly Father knew all along, and knew just how to lead us to a better understanding of this precious and wonderful child that He created just the way He wanted her to be...

To be continued...

Our Pearl Story... (Part 3) #HopeChangesEverything #BlogParty2011

2011-09-21T08:15:00.001-04:00

Thanks for reading these "Pearls" posts and following this latest mini-series. :-)

As Macey continued to grow, there were things about her that were definitely unique. I have told people for years that if I had only had my first child, I might be a pretty opinionated and arrogant parent. It's not that I think Amelia is perfect or that I've parented her perfectly, but it was as if Macey was born with the sole-purpose of making sure momma stays humble! I'll never forget when my first book was completed, published, and printed. I got my first copy in the mail. There really is no feeling quite like it! After all that studying, hard work of writing, teaching the material, re-writing, editing, researching publishing companies, writing some more, and on and on--it seemed like an endless struggle. When it arrived I showed Amelia, and she celebrated with me and said, "Oh Mommy, I am SO proud of you!" Jackson, although only 5 years old at the time, was so happy for me as well (and, in his totally Jackson way, said, "When can I publish MY book?")

I showed Macey and she said, "What does this have to do with me?"And she honestly wasn't trying to be mean or thoughtless. She just wanted to know what my book had to do with her.

From the time of her birth, I knew she loved me. There has always been a very special bond between Macey and me. She didn't warm up much to others at first, and we dubbed her from the start, "Momma's girl." In fact, of my three kids, Macey has never called me "Mommy," always "Momma." I've never doubted she loved me, but I've often doubted whether or not she liked me. (Now, don't get me wrong: I know it's not my job to be liked by my children. I'm just trying to explain something.)

Here are some of the little quirks we noticed:

Macey likes hugs (sort of) but usually only the ones she initiates. Even today, if I hug her without asking her first if it's okay, she'll flinch and pull away from me.
She is literal to an extreme (SO many examples of this! I think it has helped me become a better communicator.)
She doesn't handle change well. (Even something as little --to me--as changing her from being a bus rider to a car rider after school can stress her out.)
She tends to be very naive and trusting--which, unfortunately, makes her an easy target for kids who like to take advantage of that.
Every negative emotion tends to be expressed as anger or even rage.
If you ask her opinion, she'll give it to you. (Beware! Especially if you're asking how you look in a certain bathing suit. I may never do that again.)
She is extremely hyper-sensitive to noise, touch, texture, light, etc. (Her bedroom and wardrobe are full of fuzzy, soft, cozy items.)
She doesn't express herself verbally as well as she can express her thoughts/emotions in pictures--word pictures or drawn. In this, she excels!
She has a very strict system of organization--it works for her but doesn't make sense to the rest of us.

As Macey entered 3rd grade, I picked up on the fact that her anger issues didn't seem to be anger as much as sadness, feelings of rejection (from kids on the bus, church, school, etc), insecurity, and such. I started using a "Feelings Wheel" (a chart with different emotion words on it) to help her learn how to tell me what was going on inside of her when all we could see on the outside was rage that didn't seem to fit the circumstance.

Something that confused me in all of this was the fact that Macey has always been a "Teacher's Pet" of sorts. From her first experiences in Sunday School and Preschool to her days in Elementary and now Middle School (*Update, she is now in her first year of High School), Macey's teachers and administrators have always LOVED her. I receive so many compliments from other adults who work with and know Macey. When I've told them the challenges we face with her at home, they look at me like I'm talking about some other kid.

Now, remember, I have three children, so I know that kids usually behave and perform better for others than they do at home where they're safe to be themselves and make mistakes and even act out. But the difference in Macey is vastly different. Night and day different.

Things that don't bother most of us, greatly bother her--physically, emotionally, mentally, and even spiritually. She deals with daily and even moment-by-moment irritations that would go unnoticed by most people.

By the time she got into middle school, I really began to see how things just didn't "click" for Macey in certain areas. I began to see that her struggles weren't simply due to a hearing impairment (and missing cues from people because she didn't hear them). She was getting to an age where it was becoming more and more obvious that there was something else going on.

I've prayed for her for many years now that God would "redeem her filter," because it seemed like she had a filter over her mind that was scrambling messages going in and messages trying to come out.

On the last day of her 6th grade year, I was working in my office here at the house, and I got a phone call I never expected to ever receive...

To be continued...

Our Pearl Story... (Part 2) #HopeChangesEverything #BlogParty2011

2011-09-20T08:15:00.001-04:00

When Macey, who is now 14 years old (until 9-22-11 when she'll turn 15), was a baby, she did just about all of the things other babies do--she just did them later than most babies. I've observed over the years of having this front-row-seat view into her life, that it might take Macey longer to get something than others, but once she does, she's got it. The process might take longer (like turning over from tummy to back, learning to ride a bike, speaking clearly, etc), but there's no backsliding for her.

Because my family has a genetic hearing loss (which I also have), I paid close attention to each of my children and their ability to hear from the time they were born. All of them passed their hearing test in the hospital and in those early months of hearing tests. Nevertheless, I wanted to continue to keep tabs on this because for all of us in the family with a hearing loss, none of us had the loss at birth.

When Macey was two, she only said a few words, and maybe just a few very small sentences. Even when she did begin talking more (around 3- 3 1/2) she had speech issues and said some of the most adorable things I've ever heard! She had a soft green blanket that went everywhere with her, and I can still hear her call it her "ween ranklet." Her favorite color was green. Well, looking back, I don't know if it was her favorite--but because she had gotten a "Larry" toy (Veggie-tales) for Christmas when she was two, she thought anything and everything that was green was hers. She got so upset at perfect strangers for driving her ween twuck!

Macey, Shelley, and Amelia

We discovered around her 4th birthday that Macey did have a hearing impairment. I'll never forget the day when I dropped her older sister, Amelia, off at 1st grade. Macey was in the back seat in her car seat, and I normally had the rear-view mirror pointed at her so I could see her. Only that day, I didn't have it facing her. I said something to her and she said, "Mommy, I can't hear you. I can't see your mouth."

We made an appointment with an audiologist right away and found out that, sure enough, Macey has a reverse-slope hearing loss in both ears. My heart was broken. I felt so many emotions all at once. But most of all, I felt determined to get her whatever help we could get her to help her learn how to live in a hearing world and to thrive because of her impairment, not in spite of it. It wasn't long before Macey had her own set of hot pink hearing aids that she proudly showed off to everyone! We got her enrolled in a wonderful preschool hearing impaired program, and she began to do really well. Her speech improved by the end of the school year and we felt like we had a handle on what was going on with her.

I still wish, though, that I had known then what I know now....

(More to come, stay tuned...)

Our Pearl Story (Part 1) #HopeChangesEverything #BlogParty2011

2011-09-19T08:15:00.003-04:00

Pearls... (Part 1)*

I'm probably not going to get this post written all in one sitting. I don't think it's going to be a one-post-post either. I'm not really even sure who will stumble across this, or how it might make a difference. I just sense that it's time to tell a little bit more about my journey this past year.

But to tell it properly, I have to go back a bit further...

In 1994, I became a mom to a healthy beautiful baby girl. Everything about the pregnancy, labor, and delivery was completely normal. This doesn't change the fact that I love to talk to other moms about it, though! There's something in us that makes us LOVE sharing those stories with each other. I fell in love with that child right away. I finally felt I had found my purpose: to be Amelia's mommy.

When Amelia was around 18 months old, I found out I was expecting again. I was so happy right away, but also a little nervous. Nervous because I had miscarried only a couple of months before, and nervous because I loved Amelia so very much that I was afraid I might not have what it takes to love two children sufficiently. I felt my own inadequacies and insecurities that I now realize most parents feel from time to time.

My pregnancy with my Macey was the easiest of all my pregnancies. I have three children living with me, but I've been pregnant with 7 babies. I was one who either carried a healthy baby to full-term or miscarried some time before week 16. Each pregnancy, after that first miscarriage, carried a combination of emotions: a desire to be excited and start making plans, and the painful reality that just because I was pregnant didn't mean I was going to get to have a baby.

Those 9 months with Macey went by SO fast! And when she arrived, not only had her pregnancy been so easy, so was the labor and delivery. I barely broke a sweat and I didn't even smudge my lipstick. (No joke!) After I had Amelia (23 hours of labor and delivery), I looked like I had been run over by a truck! Right away, I knew. I knew this was a child who was not about to live in her sister's shadow. She was a child who was not going to have any less love from her mommy than her sister enjoyed. I knew she was her own person and that I was going to really enjoy getting to know who that was.

Macey and me in 2009

I just didn't realize how difficult the journey would be... for her and for me. I had no idea how much God wanted to teach me or how much He had in store for me...or how much I would come to appreciate Pearls.

(Story continues soon...I hope you'll stay tuned.)

*I'm reposting this series from fall 2010 as part of the Hope Changes Everything Blog Party 2011 :-) Thanks for joining!

"My heart Hopes..." by Jessica Wolstenholm #BlogParty2011

2011-09-16T08:15:00.000-04:00

It didn't take long for me to grasp what a gift I was given when I was briefly introduced via email to the author of this next post. It was several years ago when I met one of her clients at an event at my home church. Jessica and I corresponded then and a few more times before we really had a chance to get to know each other over the past couple of years. She is a beautiful soul--warm, engaging, and truly authentic. You'll love getting to know her a little bit through this post, and I hope you'll take a few minutes to visit her blog (link below) as well. Thank you, Jessica, for sharing your Hope Story with us!

Meet Jessica Wolstenholm!

My Heart Hopes

My daughter’s name is Hope . . . because her life came after a season of longing, waiting, suffering and loss. I had always wanted children and I suppose I thought my mere desire would lead to its reality. I never imagined I would have to contend for something that God created me to be – a mother. After being diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome), I knew my journey to motherhood would be longer than the average girl. Two years and two miscarriages later, Hope was born.

Through the process I learned so much about my relationship with Christ. Although I did not want to imagine going through anything worse than I had been through, I remember feeling a sense that this was preparing me for some greater trial.

We simply don’t know what the Lord is going to require of us.

I knew I needed to allow my experiences and His grace through it all to deepen my faith.

Because faith is the substance of things hoped for . . .

Almost two years ago, my husband and I felt it was time to grow our family and believe the Lord for another child. Having come out of the process once before with a healthy baby girl, we knew the steps we needed to take. We had endured our trial and I expected it was behind us. We suffered, we grew, we learned more about ourselves and the Lord. I figured this time it would be easy.

When we experienced yet another miscarriage, I was disappointed but remained hopeful. I believed pregnancy loss was one of the many areas of suffering that could simply not be explained. But I knew that God was faithful and He was good. We discovered four weeks later that I had actually conceived twins and the other one was ectopic (implanted in my right fallopian tube), and not viable. My faith was shaken. Rushed into emergency surgery to remove my tube, I didn’t have much time to think about what was happening (or could have happened) to my body.

After a season of healing, we began to hope again that the Lord would answer our cry for another child. It would be even more challenging to conceive with only one tube but I believed He would bring life. Months went by and even with greater efforts taken through the fertility clinic, I had not conceived. We were at the end of our financial and emotional resources when the fertility doctor sent me home saying, “Call me in a month. You will not conceive this time. Those ripe eggs are on the side with no tube.”

The evidence of things unseen . . .

I was defeated. I was tired. I wondered if His plan for us only included one child. Should we lay down this desire? That evening I had dinner with two dear girlfriends, one of which happens to be my OB. I shared the update through tear-filled eyes and she said, “It can happen. I believe this is the month and so I believe it can still happen.” Her words were like a shot of faith, right in my heart. I felt hope rise up in me like it never has before. Why shouldn’t I conceive against all odds? Why shouldn’t it happen when it would bring the most glory to the Father? I waited more patiently than I ever have that month. Perhaps it was because my head thought it likely wouldn’t happen. But my heart believed. My heart hoped.

A few weeks later I called the doctors office to report that I had conceived. They were stunned. When I went in for my first appointment the nurse kept looking back over my chart to make sure she had her bearings. “So you lost your right tube? And you got pregnant this month?. . . A miracle. Truly a miracle.”

Ten weeks ago I gave birth to that miracle baby boy. His life is evidence of the mystery of faith. We don’t ever know what the Lord is going to require of us. We have to believe that while He wants to give us the desires of our hearts, our greatest desire should be for His glory. When those two things align, miracles happen.

And now, every day when I look into the eyes of my children my heart hopes.

Because He who promised is faithful. . .

More about Jessica...

JESSICA WOLSTENHOLM spent the past 5 years as Senior Brand Manager at Creative Trust in Nashville, Tennessee. With over ten years experience in the music and publishing industries, Jessica has been named one of Billboard Magazine’s Top 30 Executives under 30. Her passion for ministering to mothers-to-be comes after struggling with infertility and multiple pregnancy losses. She is the co-author of the book, The Pregnancy Companion: A Faith-Filled Guide For Your Journey To Motherhood and blogs at www.thepregnancycompanion.com She resides in Nolensville, Tennessee with her husband Dave, daughter Hope and brand new baby boy, Joshua.

"Hope Gets the Final Word..." by Michele Cushatt #BlogParty2011

2011-09-15T08:15:00.014-04:00

This next Blog Party post comes from a woman I get to meet in person in about a month. We became acquainted through our mutual friend, Ken Davis, and we will be in the same place, at the same time, in just a few weeks. I'm really looking forward to it! As I've gotten to know Michele a little bit over these past couple of months through our conversations and through her writing, I knew I wanted her to be a part of this blog party. I knew she'd do an incredible job sharing Hope with us. What I didn't know was how powerful her own Hope story would be. So, without further ado...

Meet Michele Cushatt!

It took a single phone call for me to understand the worth of hope.

The doctor’s voice carried the one word I dreaded most: Cancer. In seconds, I exited normal life and entered into a scene played out in tear-jerking movies and books. My perspective on life shrunk to a singular suffocating question:

Am I going to die?

Most 39 year olds aren’t prepared to face such a question. Those of us who have at some point walked through life-threatening circumstances with a loved one find it’s an entirely different story when written in first person. I didn’t anticipate the fear that would extinguish my prior joy like a fire swallows up oxygen.

Over the next weeks, as doctors determined the best course of action, I crumbled under the weight of my new life story, sinking into a dark pit of terror I’d never before known. It’s not that I feared my eternal destination. I’ve loved Jesus my entire life. But talking about eternity and facing it are two different things. Thoughts of family left behind and dreams unrealized crippled me. The prospect of death swallowed up any hope of life.

During one particularly difficult day, I retreated with my husband to our bedroom. He didn’t share my despair, nor did he fear for my life. From the first day, he knew this health challenge would be difficult, but temporary.

I sat across from him on our bed, envying his peace. “How are you so calm? Why aren’t you worried?”

He answered as he always did. “Because you’re going to be fine. I’m sorry you have to go through this, but you’re going to be okay.”

Blinded by fear, I resisted with another question. “But what if? What if I’m not okay? What if the worst case scenario happens?”

Then he said the words that finally broke Fear’s choke hold on me:

“If you really believe what you say you believe, Michele, then it’s only going to get better for you from here.”

With a sound rebuke, he reminded me that Hope gets the final word in my life. From the moment I met Jesus, life trumped death. But somewhere in my 39 years, my love affair with this life had eclipsed my anticipation of the next.

It’s a difficult tension, living with one hand embracing earth and the other reaching for heaven. But as good as this life can be, we can’t let its pleasure overshadow the truth that we were made for eternity.

My husband was right, you know. My health struggle turned out to be temporary. A difficult season, and one I’d rather not repeat. But an early diagnosis with a happy ending, lasting just long enough to teach me a lesson I’ll never forget:

The best is yet to come. Only that hope makes today worth living.

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” ~ 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Hope Changes Everything!!

More about Michele...

Often described as engaging and authentic, Michele Cushatt is a inspirational speaker and author with whom audiences easily connect. Weaving contemporary stories with ancient script, she hangs out in the tension between real faith and real life, a place filled with more questions than answers. Michele doesn't hide the fact that her story is a mix of joy and pain, leaving her tendered toward those who likewise find themselves enduring less-than-ideal circumstances.

Pulling from this unique set of life experiences, Michele Cushatt writes articles, stories and devotional meditations for numerous publications including MOPS International, Today’s Christian Woman, Hearts-at-Home , Upper Room,Quiet Hour, Devotions, and multiple compilation books including five titles in the Chicken Soup series. Her speaking experience covers the United States and includes the Focus on the Family daily radio program, Your Family Live!Webcast, multiple Hearts-at-Home conferences, Compassion International, women’s retreats, writers conferences, business and church events as well as various other conferences, retreats, radio interviews, and writers groups.

Passionate about mentoring fellow writers and speakers, Michele served as the Director of Words For The Journey Christian Writers Guild for more than three years. Currently, she is on staff with internationally recognized comedian and best-selling author Ken Davis as M/C and Communications Coach for Dynamic Communicators Workshops, a conference designed to transform those who want to become powerful and effective communicators.

Michele, her husband Troy, and their three teenage boys make their home in Colorado along with Nika, one adorable but very hairy black lab.

Kick off happens TONIGHT!!! @Church4chicks

2011-09-13T08:15:00.013-04:00

Add a little Pink to your fall!!

Don't miss it!!

"Overcoming--fulfilling your God-given destiny!"

6-9 p.m. at

Town Center Community Church

1040 Blackwell Rd. Marietta, GA 30066

(Click address for map)

Potluck meal and amazing ministry and message by

LORI KENNEDY

ALPHA-OMEGA MINISTRIES

Questions?

Call 770-877-0007

www.church4chicks.com (Go to Events Page)

No Charge for this event.

Love offering will be received for Lori's ministry.

Products will be available for sale and all proceeds go to non-profit ministries:

Church 4 Chicks and Alpha-Omega Ministries

#Hope Changes Everything, by John Boring (Part 2) #BlogParty2011

2011-09-12T08:15:00.000-04:00

You might find yourself in this story as well... So thankful for the person of Hope and how He indeed changes everything. My friend, John Boring, is back. I'm thrilled that you all get to hear from him again during our Blog Party 2011! (To read John's other post click here.)

My Story

I considered myself to be a Christian for as long as I can remember. I believed in God, had no doubts that He existed, but I felt He was an elitist, favoring some while ignoring others. I fell into the ignored category but that did not stop my belief that there was a God. I simply did not rely on Him for much and He was certainly not a deity I could trust. To my mind, my life was mine to control and if I was going to survive it would be because of my actions, not God’s.

This God I believed in was not a kind God, quite the contrary. He was vengeful and angry. He promised us things but He had doubts any of us could measure up to His standards enough to earn those rewards. This image of God was the one given to me through the various churches I attended. It was not a God I wanted to look up to if these preachers were right, and I eventually quit going to churches altogether. Instead, I found God in the great outdoors, in the magnificent scenery of mountains, streams, lakes, sunrises and sunsets, and in the perfection of his creations such as birds and animals. I found the peace and contentment I sought from churches in these outdoor delights. Here was the church of the God I could look up to, the God of my childhood; the kind of God I could worship; a kind and loving God who could take time to create such wonder and beauty.

Then, in April, 2005 we lost our 24-year-old son, Dan, to cancer. During his five year fight, I had tried to help by being there for him and offering advice about treatments and procedures to try, but I never once called on God to intervene. That job fell to Suzi, my wife, whose life-long and steadfast faith in God never wavered. After Dan passed, I thought about her faith a lot and how I had not ever supported her in that area. I did not attend church with her, did not join her in prayer. Those thoughts shamed me and I announced I would be in church with her in the future, regardless of the preacher and what he had to say about God; I would be there to support Suzi.

She was thrilled by my decision and in an effort to make it easier for me knowing how little I liked her pastor, she gave up her church and looked for another one for us to attend. It ended up being Open Door Fellowship Church in West Phoenix. On our first visit there in the summer of 2005, just a few months after Dan’s death, we walked through the doors into this small, window-less auditorium. No stained glass, no silk banners, no gold trappings. Just a bandstand and a podium. But, the place hummed with conversation as the congregation trickled in and took their seats. People were greeting each other with hugs and kisses, laughing and talking. When seated, many of the women moved close to their man as lovers do in movie theaters. Others hugged children close to them as the worship music began. Something inside of me began to stir, emotions began to rise that were unfamiliar and foreign. There was something in the room that I could feel, a presence I had never before felt or experienced. The emotions I was feeling quickly overcame me and I began to cry; huge, racking, sobs that had nothing to do with Dan’s death and everything to do with feeling God’s presence and His arms around me. Along with this release of emotion came a sense of peace and contentment. A feeling of coming home.

Then John Lynch began to speak and the words he delivered seemed to be aimed straight at my heart. Doors opened that had been closed since my childhood and I understood for the first time that our God was indeed a loving and caring God, that loving me was one of His highest priorities. It all made sense and in that clarity of thought I was changed inside forever. I had also found my home, the church I had been looking for and the preacher I had longed to hear. It was the combination of the love I felt in the room and demonstrated so clearly by the congregation, as well as the theology preached from the pulpit in that little church that did it. And, one other ingredient: It was God who directed me there and it was God who decided it was time for me to meet His son on that particular day. It was God, who put His arm around me that morning and led me home.

That’s my story and it’s an ongoing love affair. ODF is my church for life and loving God, and loving others in His name, is now my lifetime mission.

John Boring

P.S.

When Christ rolled into my life one special Sunday in 2005, three things happened almost immediately: I received the gift of grace, it became easier for me to love others and I developed a big appetite for pie. This means that I am a grace-filled, pie-eating, hug-giving man. I live in grace because God gifted me with it. I eat pie as often as I can because I’m addicted to them. I give hugs because I can’t help myself; it’s the purest way I know to demonstrate my love for others. I’m also an elderly dude who will become wise and respected when I turn 80 this November. Can’t wait.

Hope vs. Fear ....10 years after 9/11

2011-09-11T08:45:00.015-04:00

Just like you, I remember exactly where I was on that beautiful Tuesday morning ten years ago today. Doing a little window shopping had me completely oblivious to what was happening in New York City, Washington, DC, and Pennsylvania. While I was browsing for some stuff to add to my already big enough pile of stuff, people's lives were being snuffed out and others were facing decisions I'll most likely never have to face. We all remember those brave words, "Let's roll." We all remember the tears. The scenes. The shock. The FEAR. We remember so well that I've chosen to not post any pictures in this post. Those images are permanently imprinted in our minds.

Stephen called me that morning on my cell to ask me if I had heard what was going on. He was at a Prayer Breakfast where the enormity of what was happening was barely sinking in to those in attendance--it was something we could never have imagined as we woke to such a beautiful morning. As I stood in the aisle of the store, it seemed as though the world stopped. I looked at the strangers around me so differently than I had when I walked into the store. I couldn't leave quickly enough. As soon as I hung up with him, I do what I always do in the moment of needing someone to talk to: I called my mom. She and I talked on the phone all the way to my house. She, like most Americans, was glued to her TV screen. I had not yet seen the images. Like other parents, I wanted to gather up my little chicks and keep them close to me, so I headed to the school. Amelia was only 7 and Macey was about to turn 5. And everything was different than it had ever been before.

This moment--this act--changed America forever.

That evening, we gathered for prayer at our home church, and our pastor, who was out of town and unable to get back home, called in with words of peace and comfort and, yes, hope. The world had changed, and we didn't know if the attacks were over or just beginning. Our sense of security as Americans on American soil had been ripped away from us in an instant. But something had not changed.

GOD.

For a short while, we were not divided as a people. We weren't democrats or republicans or independents. We weren't rich or poor or middle-class. We were Americans. United. Hopeful. And, for a little while, we turned our hearts toward Heaven...to the God we have prayed would "Bless America."

Fear changes a lot of things. But Hope? Hope changes everything! And when Hope is founded in the unchangeable God who rules and reigns over it all, that sometimes tiny glimmer of hope becomes a radiant source of strength, and courage and boldness!

A.W. Tozer said, "What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us." If we have a right understanding of God, who He is and what He does, we will be filled with Hope--hope for today and hope for tomorrow--regardless of what present circumstances indicate. We'll understand that today isn't all there is. We'll grasp that He is a loving creator, working from and for eternity. We'll know that the story... isn't... over... yet.

Hope Changes Everything! And as we reflect on what this past decade has meant for us as a nation made up of communities made up of families made up of individuals--may we each choose today to have and to offer HOPE!

************
What does Hope mean to you?

How does Hope overcome fear?

***********
My friend, Dee Marshall, was there that day. Read her Hope Post here.

Overcoming with HOPE by Lori Kennedy #BlogParty2011

2011-09-08T08:15:00.000-04:00

It is with great pleasure that I get to share with each of you a very dear "IRL" friend of mine: Lori Kennedy! If you aren't yet familiar with Lori and/or with her ministry, trust me, you need to take the time to do so. Lori is an amazing woman and friend. Her love for Jesus and for people is so evident--whether you're just meeting her for the first time or you know her well. I'm elated and delighted and honored to get to walk the journey so close to this incredible person!

Meet Lori Kennedy!

Photo by Amelia Grace Photography

“…rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character; and character, HOPE.”

Romans 5:3-4 (NIV)

Hope. The very essence of the word means life. A life without hope is a life not lived in victory, but a life simply survived. Deuteronomy 30:19-20 (NIV) states, “…I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him…” Hope is a choice. The choice to live!

When I was younger, life felt very bleak. I was a product of divorce and suffered feelings of abandonment during my childhood. Then, when I was eight, I was molested by a male babysitter who became the first in a string of sexual predators abusing me throughout my teen years. I was living in hopelessness and those that seek to kill, steal and destroy can sense your brokenness and prey upon that desperation for acceptance and love. I could not see past the miserable and pathetic existence that seemed to stretch out endlessly in front of me. The book The Wounded Heart by Dr. Dan B. Allender states, “The heart aches, and there is no immediate recourse for relief, except the soul-numbing choice to abandon a sense of being alive. What a terrible choice! If the victim wants to live free of the pain, then she must choose not to be alive.” There were many times during my teenage years that I contemplated suicide. I was living a defeated life; a life without hope.

Christ intersected my life and although some things changed immediately, there were years of wounds, battle scars, and coping mechanisms that drove my lack of trust and self-protectiveness. I still had to LEARN how to live a life of hope. I needed to be taught how to live in expectation that God was going to do great things and that I had a life worth living. I had to trust that God had plans for me. Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) speaks to this, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a future.”

In God’s timing, and when my heart was ready, God led me through a healing process that has allowed me to embrace a hopeful life full of victory and expectation; truly believing those are His plans for me! You see, Romans 5:3-4 (NIV) says, “…rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character; and character, HOPE.” I now claim this verse as I have overcome so much to fulfill the destiny that was prepared in advance just for me. It’s taken years of being molded by the Potter’s Hand to truly trust in His character. The hardships I endured as a child now bring glory to Him. Without the agony of my childhood I would not be who I am today; able to specifically give hope to others through the knowledge and conquering of my own wounds and fears. That, in itself, instills continued hope in me!

A little bit about Lori...

Lori has been married to Danny for over 20 years. God has blessed them with two wonderful sons who love the Lord. Lori now serves and worships at First Baptist Church in Woodstock. Lori is also involved in the North Georgia Walk to Emmaus where she serves on their board as well as leads group worship regularly at meetings and retreats. Lori is the Worship Director for the Women's Ministry at First Baptist Church Woodstock as well as Church 4 Chicks. In addition, Lori also leads music on a regular basis for True Identity retreats. She was the worship leader for the 2010 Awaken conference, led worship for Cruise with a Cause in 2011, and taught a break-out session for Women In Worship at the Unlimited Worship Conference hosted by the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. Most recently her program, "Overcoming - Fulfilling Your God Given Destiny" has reached as far as Romania. She has been the worship leader at women's retreats and conferences for churches and organizations across the country including Alaska and has been involved in multiple youth events promoting the leadership and purity of our young people. Find Lori and her ministry online at www.lorikennedy.com

You will have the opportunity to hear Lori's story and participate in "Overcoming" on September 13, 2011 at Town Center Community Church, hosted by Church 4 Chicks! For all the details, please click on the picture below:

Hope Changes Everything! by Dee Marshall #BlogParty2011 #GirlfriendsPray

2011-09-06T08:15:00.001-04:00

"Hope Changes Everything!"

If you're just stopping by this blog for the first time, or if it has been a while, Welcome! It's by no coincidence that you stopped by today. I believe there's a message here and through these "Blog Party" posts by friends that we all need to hear. I hope you'll take some time to scroll through the other posts as each one has been beautifully written by amazing, authentic, and wonderful real-life people--sharing their Hope stories with us. Today's post is no exception--you're going to love it!

I first met Dee Marshall at a leadership retreat for "Cruise with a Cause 2011." I knew right away that I liked her. She exudes enthusiasm and excellence! Her energy is absolutely contagious and it came as no surprise to me that she has already accomplished so much in her life. But what most impressed me about Dee was her authentic love for the Lord and for the women she serves. You'll love her, too. And, if you haven't had your coffee yet today, you might just find that you won't need it after you read this!

Meet Dee Marshall!

Hello Greatness, Fabulous, Woman of God, Girlfriend... Chick!

Can I share with you my story of how HOPE changed EVERYTHING for me? Well here goes… In some seasons HOPE kept me from falling. Hope kept me alive. Hope kept me believing when I couldn’t see through my tears; it kept me moving, kept me from giving up when I was tired. Hope kept me from quitting, giving up, etc. etc. etc. but can I tell you something? In this season and in this moment Hope is fueling my optimism and expectation that God's greatest work and move in my life is right in front of me. Something is about to JUMP off up in here (I know that’s not proper grammarJ). You ladies know Jeremiah 29:11 right?… “God’s plan is to prosper us and give us HOPE and a future” … well that’s where I am today almost 10 years to the day when God used a traumatic day in America to change the course of my life.

On September 11^th I was the second one to the elevator and the door had closed in my face. (Why did I have the nerve to run back and get my bag? YUP I said it and I did it). Down 33 flights of stairs I landed in the midst of chaos and started running with four other co-workers and I didn’t stop running until about 4:30 pm that day… which is how long it took me to escape Wall Street on the day the US was attacked by terrorists and the Twin Towers came tumbling down right before my eyes.

So September 12^th was the day I woke to learn – no, that was not a nightmare, but a defining moment indicative of the questions that were before me and the answers I was to give. The question that summed up the message was this “if I died yesterday would I have any regrets?” I didn’t have any regrets at the time but more so an "AHA!" that lead to an exploratory that resulted in my personal declaration…

"Lord why do we live?"

"Why am I here?"

"What is my purpose?"

I knew it has to be about more than my job and my big office, my luxury hot bam bam car, my house with the cathedral like ceilings and all my stuff… designer this bag and designer this hot shoe… WHATEVER, Dee Marshall. *side eye* I knew there had to be more, a reason, a deeper meaning to life and I was going to get to the bottom of it… See, September 11^th was the defining moment that would lead me to declare from that day forward my journey would be to discover the meaning and purpose for my life so I would not die with regret. So that I would know...

WHO I AM,

WHOSE I AM,

WHY I'M HERE AND

WHERE I'M GOING.

I was interested in a quality, meaningful, purposeful life long before Rick Warren’s book “Purpose Driven Life”.

So in that season I hoped that God would reveal to me the meaning and purpose for my life … I hoped that God would use me….and He did all because I HOPED in Him. I went to the right source, ladies. Ten years now I have been sowing into the lives of women as result of the defining moment on September 11th. God has made a way for me to empower women all over the world across platforms and mediums and I truly believe that God gives me such a platform because He knows He can use me as His mouth piece to you all how I got ON! Now today I feel God moving literally TOOOOODAAAY and looking forward to the next season of my life because I trust Him.

So Beautiful, Greatness, Fabulous, Woman of God, Girlfriend Chick you betta HOPE as if your life depended on it and watch God show up in your life!

More about Dee...

Dee Marshall is the Founder of Girlfriends Pray Ministries.

"Girlfriends Pray is one of the fastest growing ministries for women of Faith. In less than three months we grew from thirty-three women to several hundreds of women praying together at weekday morning corporate prayer teleconference call and....over 20,000 followers from more than twelve countries.

The word of the Lord says, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so God can heal you. When a believing person prays, great things happen. - James 5:16"

You will definitely want to connect with Dee and Girlfriends Pray!! Here are some great links to help you do just that!

www.GirlfriendsPray.org

www.GirlfriendsPrayBlog.org

www.Facebook.com/GirlfriendsPray

www.Twitter.com/GirlfriendsPray

Pray without ceasing 1 Thessalonians 5:17

Join Church 4 Chicks this fall for a Brand New Series!

2011-09-03T09:15:00.000-04:00

Hope Changes Everything! by Amy Freeman #BlogParty2011 #Church4Chicks

2011-09-02T08:15:00.003-04:00

Today's post is especially meaningful for me to include because it comes from one of our very own Church 4 Chicks gals, Amy Freeman! I met Amy about a year ago when she began attending C4C with one of our other fab chicks, Ida, and we loved her from the start! She's been through a lot in her life, but she hasn't let it get the best of her. I know you'll enjoy this tid-bit from her and that you'll be encouraged to allow God to continue to fill you with His Hope!

Meet Amy Freeman!

Hope Changes Everything

Music gives my weary soul Hope when I have chosen to believe the enemies lies over God’s truth. Music is Hope. It pushes me forward through the hail, the wind, the rain and the oppression that comes through the trials and tribulations when I am walking through the Valley of the Shadow of Death. Music is the language through which God speaks to me and give me Hope.

As I sit here and share this with y’all, my mind is taking me back to my days in high school. I loved high school, but I dealt with a lot of emotional baggage. My parents divorced when I was 15 and my world crumpled. My dad died when I was 16 and I shattered into millions of shards of glass because I wanted to hurt someone else, mainly my mother, before they could hurt me. My mother quickly remarried and that situation, coupled with the divorce, built up a tidal wave of bitterness that was waiting to be unleashed. This period of my life was dark and very hopeless. Why? I knew of Jesus Christ . . . but I did not KNOW Jesus Christ. I was lost. I gave my heart to Jesus during the sixteenth summer of my life. I went from a sour, lemon faced teenager to radiantly smiling teenager who took hold of the lemons of the past and starting pouring out and serving lemonade to everyone.

I tell you that little story so that we can fast forward you to the 17 year old teenager, sitting on the school bus feeling ugly, alone and unloved. You see my emotional baggage was still growing exponentially — a relative molested me about a month after I had turned my life over to Christ. Also, although the magnitude of the bitterness tidal wave had diminished some, it was still a very strong force that raged a battle within me. My relationship with my mother was fragile. She idolized my step father and I was very much in dislike with him. I didn’t trust him at all.

So here I sit on the bus. I’m on the verge of crying and I’m reading my bible and I’m listening to Steven Curtis Chapman’s “Fingerprints of God” and I come across this verse in Isaiah 49:15-16:

"Can a woman forget her suckling child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands, thy walls are continually before me." (KJV)

As I am reading those life transforming words, the lyrics to “Fingerprints of God” breaks through my subconscious and those words are sung, straight like an arrow, directly to my heart. The songs intro says:

“I can see the tears, filling your eyes, and I know where they’re coming from. They’re coming from a heart that’s broken in two by what you don’t see. The person in the mirror doesn’t look like the magazine, but when I look at you it’s clear to me — that I can see the fingerprints of God when I look at you . . .”

Wow! Hope flooded my soul and God’s words transformed and began healing my heart. Are my trials and tribulations over? No, they are part of this earthly life. I can tell you some stories from the past 15 years that would turn your hair grey . . . but as the hymn says —it is well with my Soul.

Don’t lose faith in God, NEVER give up HOPE. God loves you with an everlasting love that surpasses the human love of our earthly families. And just remember . . . “When I look at you . . . it’s clear to me — that I can see the fingerprints of God!"

A little more about Amy...

Hi, my name is Amy and I’m 29. I just went back to college at Kennesaw State to finish my BA in English. I want to get a Masters in Teaching and teach Middle or High School English. I love to spend time with my friends and I love when new doors open to meet people and have an opportunity to share my Jesus with them. I’ll warn you though; I can be CRAZY shy at times. I am passionately obsessed with butterflies and I lose all thought and reason when I see one because I have to track it down with my camera and take its beautiful picture. Butterflies give me Hope. They have such a struggle to come into this world out of their cocoons. It really is Ah-mazing! ;) Anyways, thanks for letting me share my heart. May my trials through tribulations give YOU Hope that God has a plan and purpose for everything that He allows!

How Hope Changed Me by @CindyBeall #BlogParty2011

2011-08-31T08:15:00.022-04:00

I love, love, love how God connects us with people, don't you? I think it's pretty cool how He isn't afraid to use Social Media to do just that. ;-) When I asked my new friend, Cindy Beall, if she'd like to join the party, I was thrilled when she said yes. I was blown away when I read what she shared. You will be, too.

I don't know what you're going through. But this I do know: Hope really does change everything!

Meet Cindy Beall!

How Hope Changed Me

By Cindy Beall

Hope.

An expectation of obtainment. To expect with confidence.

I hope that I get that promotion.

I hope that my children don’t get hurt.

I hope that I find an amazing man to marry.

Everybody hopes in something. For something. If they say they don’t, they’re lyin’.

Just sayin’.

I hoped that one day I’d find my knight in shining armor. I didn’t know when he’d arrive on my doorstep so while I waited for him, I made a list of things that I desired my future husband to possess. Tall. Musical. Loves Jesus. Sensitive. Funny. Respectable. Admirable. Honest. Trusting. Protecting. Handsome.

I hoped for a lot.

Finally, he found me. And I found him. We were smitten with each other from our very first date. Apparently, he liked me so much that, unbeknownst to me, he put a down payment on my wedding ring the next day. And ten months later, I got a new last name.

American author, Catherine Marshall said, “God is the only one who can make the valley of trouble a door of hope.” I had no idea how applicable this quote would be in my life one day. But nine years into our marriage, everything crumbled. Actually, it crumbled before that but I just didn’t know it. I’d come to find out that for a period of about two years, my husband, Chris, acted out on his very sordid addiction to pornography and committed multiple acts of infidelity. The day he confessed all of this to me was the worst day of my life. I came to realize that it was just the first of many worse days in my life.

My marriage died. So did my hope.

But then God. On the days when I could barely lift my head from the pillow, God gave me strength. When the images would come flooding into my mind, God gave me peace. When the pain bombarded me and suffocated me like a blanket in 100° weather, God comforted me.

He will provide the same for you. Strength. Peace. Comfort. Hope.

Now I can’t promise that He will remove the storms from your life. I can’t promise that you’ll have a comfortable, pain-free existence on this earth. I can’t promise that you’ll get everything you want and dream for.

What I can promise is that when you are weak, He’ll be strong. When you think you can’t take another step, He’ll carry you. When you are in despair, He’ll be your hope. We find these truths in Isaiah 40:30-31:

“Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

Hope in the Lord.

******************************

click book to order

Cindy Beall is a writer, mentor and speaker to women. She and her husband, Chris, speak openly about their difficult journey through Chris’ infidelity and pornography addiction that nearly destroyed their marriage and ministry. Through God’s grace they have inspired thousands of couples and have returned to full-time ministry where Chris serves as the Oklahoma City Campus Pastor at LifeChurch.tv and Cindy leads the women’s ministry on their campus. Her first book, Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken, released July 1, 2011, with Harvest House Publishers. www.cindybeall.com

Hope Changes Everything, by Dawn Owens #BlogParty2011

2011-08-29T08:15:00.002-04:00

This next post comes from someone I've actually met in person! ;-) Meet my friend, Dawn Owens, whom I met and immediately connected with at a speaker's seminar a few years back. She is the real deal and you'll be inspired and encouraged by her authenticity and vulnerability to share her story of how Hope has changed everything...and continues to change everything...in her life!

Meet Dawn Owens!

For I know the plans I have for you…

It was over seven years ago that the words of Jeremiah 29:11 were spoken over my life; well our life, that of me and my husband, Chris. They came in the midst of uncertainty. A time in which I knew who I was in Christ but that’s about all I knew, for sure. My husband and I had only been married for a year, if that, and had been through more than most couples. I’d had a pacemaker put in due to heart complications and he’d had a nasty battle with the first round of depression after hopes and dreams of his slowly dissipated, one right after another. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect and looking back now, I know why it came when it did, because it didn’t get better, it only got worse.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

(Jeremiah 29:11)

At times that verse was what we were able to hold on to, even if it only felt like a thin piece of string. I remember times when my husband would say, “If I hear that verse one more time, I may just scream.” We didn’t feel like God had plans to prosper us, to not harm us, to give us hope and a future. What we’d experienced in the past seven years took us into pits of depression, sometimes solo, sometimes shared together. We had lost two babies, a few jobs, an aunt and a grandmother. We’d believed big things about our future, desires God had placed in our hearts, deires that others even confirmed in us but, what we hoped for and experienced became disappointment after disappointment. We surely weren’t feeling hopeful... more hopeless, than anything else.

I started to really wonder what it meant to have hope. Why bother, hoping in anything at all, if all that you hope for, all that I hoped for was not what I was getting out of life?

Was this really the plans that He had for us?

Is this life of challenges, disappointment after disappointment, devastation and illness all that He had in store for me?

What about the part of the verse that says, He had plans to prosper me, to not harm me, and to give me hope? When do I get that part of His truth?

The answer to that question came in the last 9 months. It was back in November when I was really struggling with what God’s plan was for me here on planet earth. I am a fairly positive person, most of the time but the last seven years had really gotten a hold of me and I was not in a healthy place with God, and I knew it. I was desperate for a word from God and would do almost anything, to get it. I needed something, something that said it was worth hanging in there for, something to help me plow forward, something to make me see the light at the end of the tunnel. That word was no different than the word I heard seven years ago, it was the same then, but sometimes an old word can come fresh and anew, when that word comes in due season.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

(Jeremiah 29:11)

You see I had gotten it all wrong. That verse doesn’t say, ‘For I know the plans you have for you and they are to prosper you…no. The verse says, “I know the plans that I have for you. That “I” being Him. The God of the universe, the one who is charge. The King of Kings who is enthroned in heaven and the earth is his footstool. (Isa 66:1) The recognition of this changed everything. It gave me proper perspective of where I stand compared to my Heavenly Father. It reminded me who was in controlled and who was not. It was when I realized this and began surrendering my plans, dreams and the hope I had for the future that I realized what it meant to hope in the future. It turned a life of hopelessness into a life of hopefulness.

What I have learned through it all is that, yes hope does change everything. But it’s having a proper perspective on who we place our hope in and not in the circumstances that surround us.

More about Dawn....in her own words...

A born yankee, now living in Northern Alabama, Dawn is a wife, mother, and aspiring writing. Desperate for her Father’s voice in her everyday life, she finds no greater joy than seeking after Him and sharing her findings with others. You can learn more about Dawn, her experiences living in the south, and her journey with her Savior at lifeincullman.wordpress.com.

Hope Changes Everything, by John Boring #BlogParty2011

2011-08-27T09:15:00.001-04:00

I'm so honored to get to introduce some of you to a dear friend of mine. John Boring has become very special to Stephen and to me over the past year or so. His writing inspires. His life encourages. And his warmth and hospitable spirit have captivated us both and made us his life-long friends and fans. He loves hugs and pie and people and his bride and friends and, most of all, Jesus Christ.

I asked John to join the blog party and was thrilled when he said "yes!" He shares with us a topic, not directly connected to our theme of "Hope Changes Everything," but his contribution here definitely conveys this theme. See if you don't see the dots connect....

Meet John Boring...

I’m not quite ancient and wise but I’m heading there fast. Each tick of the clock takes me one second closer to where I can say I’m now a wise old man. You don’t get to be considered old and wise, or even old and foolish - and get away with it - unless you put in the time. There’s no such thing as a venerable teenager, and no one listens to what a wise twenty-something has to say, but we all respect the sage old man whose words carry wisdom and experience. I’m about to become that kind of man. I turn 80 in November.

LOVE

So, anticipating how wise I’ll be in a few months, let me jump the gun by telling you now what I consider to be the best advice I can give anyone. Love. Love everyone and love them well. Let love rule your life. Give love generously and receive it graciously. Hand out love as easily as you would party favors but make it the kind of love that sticks, that can’t be ignored or destroyed, the kind of love that matters. Love others the same way that God loves you; intentionally and relationally, without reservation and forever.

It took me 73 years to understand that advice and I give it to you here so that you don’t wait as long as I did to understand the power and the beauty of loving others. Love is the great life-changing element that God placed inside each of us long before this world ever existed. He meant for us to share it with others and when we didn’t get that idea, He sent us His only son to remind us that love was His message. One of the last things that Jesus had to say to us while He walked this earth, was for us to love others as He has loved us.

But, I’m not simply talking about spiritual love, the kind that Christians are supposed to sow and reap like farmers in a field, but also about the relational love between friends, lovers and families. Love needs to be brought out into daylight, not hoarded in the darkness or kept locked up as a prized possession. Love needs to be paraded openly where all can see, put on exhibit, waved like a flag, worn openly and proudly as you would a favorite blouse or shirt. Love needs to be kept polished and bright and daily use will keep it that way. Love needs to be shared with loved ones while they are here to appreciate it, not brought out only at funerals. Love needs to flow from us as easily as water from a spigot and distributed to those we care about, not allowed to simply run into the drain and be lost forever. Love is more than a word it’s also a way of life; love can be seen in how we act, the things we do, the way we live. Love is so many things but to us it’s what sets the quality of our life. When we love, we live large.

Love is meant to be shared for it is meaningless if you keep it to yourself. Love is especially valuable to your parents, your siblings and your children. They need to know and believe that you love them. Of course, you definitely need to give love to your sweetheart for the more you give to him or her, the more you will get in return. That’s the beauty of sharing love; the more you give, the more you get.

For many years I was a pretty self-centered guy, capable of love but using it best when it suited my purpose. That was during a time when I considered myself to be a Christian but I really didn't understand the meaning of the word. It was only after I came fully to Christ in 2005 that I discovered what love was all about and how powerful of a force it can be in our lives. Now, as a soon-to-be venerated, respected, wise, elderly dude, I am happy to pass on to you this valuable lesson that I learned about love and loving others.

So, there you have it, but with one final thought: You love others more easily when you have the love of Jesus in your heart.

Much love,

John Boring

What's HOPE Got to Do with It? #BlogParty2011

2011-08-25T16:43:00.000-04:00

This is a re-post from 2010 and I share it again because it speaks to the power of hanging on to hope when circumstances are at their worst. I don't know what you're going through today, or what might be just around the next corner, but I do know this: there is ALWAYS hope!!

**************************************************************

My mom has been doing some research into her family's genealogy. She has been coming across some very interesting findings. For example, her ancestors going back several generations on her dad's side, lived in a community in Florida called Amelia. We never knew this when we named our first born, but find that to be an interesting little coincidence.

Mom also found out that her great-great-great grandfather, who obviously would be my great-great-great- great grandfather, was a soldier in the Civil War. Not only was William R. Clark a soldier, he was also a prisoner of war, captured by the Union Army and held captive in Camp Douglas in Chicago, Illinois, which was the worst place for a Confederate soldier to find himself.

According to what she found here , "On December 16, 1864, while serving with his company, William was captured and taken prisoner by Union Troops. After being captured William was imprisoned at the Camp Douglas Prison located in Chicago, Illinois. Camp Douglas was one of the worst Civil War prisons and is credited with having the highest mortality rate. William was lucky to have lived his imprisonment as 6,000 Confederates died at Camp Douglas. While imprisoned William witnessed some of the most inhumane realities of the Civil War as prisoners were kept in filthy, cramped conditions and had to eat rats to survive since they weren't given rations. On June 19, 1865, as the war came to an end, William was released from Camp Douglas and he made his way home in Hernando County"

William Robert Clark 1898

As I heard my mom tell this story, I couldn't help but look around the room and think of all the people that would not be there if this man had died along with the 6,000 other soldiers in Camp Douglas. William Clark was not married and had never fathered a child at the time he served as a soldier. Once he moved back to Florida, and resumed his life, he became the father of several children. Thankfully! Had that not happened, I would not be sitting here typing this blog post. I wouldn't be sitting anywhere. I would not exist!

This whole thing got me thinking about how impactful one life really is. It also makes me consider what could have been different had William Robert Clark given up on life and a future when he was in that horrible prison camp. It makes me wonder what we might lose out on, and what future generations will miss out on, if any of us choose to give up when things are at their darkest and most bleak. I, for one, am so thankful that my great-great-great-great grandfather was willing to endure those awful days, weeks, and even months of being held captive; and that he was willing to eat rats (Guh-ross!) to stay alive.

It's also interesting to me that this man only passed away, and due to an accidental drowning, after he fathered his last child: John Calhoun Clark. John C. was my great-great-great grandfather.

There are no accidental people. God has a plan for each and every life. I hope that you are living yours with intentionality and purpose. I'd hate to miss out on your contribution if you don't make the one meant for you to make.

*************
P.S. And I hope you continue to Hang Onto Promises Eternal = HOPE!!

Hope Changes Everything by Julie Todd #BlogParty2011

2011-08-24T08:15:00.000-04:00

One of my favorite things in life is making introductions. I love, love, love introducing awesome people to other awesome people and watching the connections turn into friendships which enhance life and build people up. So, without further delay, meet Julie Todd!

Julie and I met through mutual acquaintances and, like Amy (whose fabulous post can be seen here), I have never been in the same place at the same time as Julie. But, even without that blessing, I have indeed been blessed time and again as Julie honestly and authentically shares her journey with others. You'll be blessed as well, so thank you for coming to the party!

Meet Julie Todd!

Julie Todd

He Is the Hope That Changes Everything:

Mile markers are interspersed along this journey of life. Some I walk through with ease, others require mega doses of endurance. Endurance was required the year my husband’s business began to find its end. The bills and needs of our family of seven were always before us. Would we make it out alive? Everything in my being longed to see a glimpse of God’s presence there in our midst. Would He come, I wondered?

I hadn’t thought about that honey baked turkey in years, yet suddenly, out of nowhere there it was. The memory of a meal we had received at the birth of our 4th child was immediately so fresh in my mind. I could almost taste it causing the longing to permeate my being. Maybe if I looked hard I could find a way in our over stretched budget to make it work.

I’m a very practical, frugal person. Moments like that are out of character for me. I live well under the constraints of a budget. Yet on that day all practicality went out the door. The lure of desire caused the calculator in my brain to start up. Surely there was a loophole with twenty-five dollars hidden amidst the bills. No matter how much I moved things around, at the end of the day I couldn’t justify my longing. I spoke of it to no one, I just let it go.

A couple of days later a friend invited me to lunch. Five children ages 10 and under along with my husband’s failing business was taking it’s toll on me. How fast could I say yes? A date was set.

She showed up with her teenagers and home made cookie dough. Hers would entertain mine while we dashed away for a quiet retreat. As we sat over lunch she allowed my heart to reveal it’s weariness. She understood. They had had their own season of endurance.

Time passes too quickly in those getaway moments. Before you knew it we were headed back to our realities. In a passing comment she mentioned that she had left dinner in the refrigerator. We hugged our goodbyes as she gathered up her teens.

Life settled back in as I went to the refrigerator to see what dinner would be. As I opened the door, there it sat. You know what it was don’t you? A honey baked turkey.

I had no words, only tears. There was only One who knew of my longing. I had never asked for it. I had only wished. Lavish love unlike any I had experienced before spoke volumes to the aching places of my soul. I savored every bite, knowing that the One who loves me more than life itself was present, attentive, knowing all.

We’re in another season these days. Five months of unemployment stare us in the face. Hope comes in the most amazing ways sometimes pouring into us, reviving our souls to continue on in the path that tries the soul. In the here and now I have the mile markers of my past which remind me. He truly is the hope that changes everything.

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About Julie...in her own words:

My name is Julie Todd. I am a 53 year old woman who spent most of her life living as one bound to the ties of religion. In these last few years God has been inviting me into the beauty of intimacy found in relationship. It's a place where it's no longer up to what I do, but instead about what He has done. I am still baffled with the reality that even on my worst day I am still the righteousness of Christ. The more I experience the grace of God the more I am ruined for ordinary living. I write to tell the story. You will find me at My Long and Winding Road (http://mylongandwindingroad.wordpress.com) where I take pleasure in my great delight of writing. The great loves of my life are my husband, David and my 5 amazing children, Hannah, 24, Courtney 21, Josiah, 19, Samuel, 17 and Lydia, 14

Hope Changes Everything #BlogParty2011

2011-08-23T10:53:00.000-04:00

This Blog Party leads up to the brand new fall series, "Hope Changes Everything" hosted by Church 4 Chicks in Marietta, GA. We'd love to have you join us if you can!

Today's portion of the party is an invitation for YOU to share with us (using the comment form below) how HOPE has changed everything in your life. It could be a story from the past or it could be how HOPE is changing everything right now, in your current circumstances, while you're still unable to see the shore. (See yesterday's post for that explanation.) Our stories are so important--we can all learn something valuable from one another.

So, ready. Set. Go! Share your story!

Stay in the Race #BlogParty2011

2011-08-22T08:44:00.001-04:00

from Max Lucado's FACING YOUR GIANTS:

In 1952, Florence Chadwick attempted to swim the chilly ocean waters between Catalina Island and the California shore. She swam through foggy weather and choppy seas for fifteen hours. Her muscles began to cramp, and her resolve weakened. She begged to be taken out of the water, but her mother, riding in a boat alongside, urged her not to give up. She kept trying but grew exhausted and stopped swimming. Aides lifted her out of the water and into the boat.They paddled a few more minutes, the mist broke, and she discovered that the shore was less than a half mile away. "All I could see was the fog," she explained at a news conference. "I think if I could have seen the shore, I would have made it."

Take a long look at the shore that awaits you. Don't be fooled by the fog of the slump. The finish may be only strokes away.

~Max Lucado

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Hope...to me it often appears only as the tiniest fragment of the tiniest sliver of light, barely noticeable in the immense darkness surrounding me. And, like Florence, when my strength is gone because I've lost sight of the shore, I often beg to be brought back into the boat and out of the race. What was once excitement over a dream to pursue becomes depression under the weight of the struggle to reach that shore.

It's true that other people in my life can either affirm or negate the race I'm running. They can cheer me on or boo me at every turn. Their words, or lack thereof, are indeed very powerful. But ultimately, at the end of the day, it really comes down to this: will I choose to Hang On to Promises Eternal or will I choose to take my eyes off the shore and place them on the fog around me?

This reminds me of a story found in the Gospels:

"... Jesus insisted that his disciples get back into the boat and cross to the other side of the lake, while he sent the people home. ²³ After sending them home, he went up into the hills by himself to pray. Night fell while he was there alone.

²⁴ Meanwhile, the disciples were in trouble far away from land, for a strong wind had risen, and they were fighting heavy waves. ²⁵ About three o’clock in the morning Jesus came toward them, walking on the water. ²⁶ When the disciples saw him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, “It’s a ghost!”

²⁷ But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here!”

²⁸ Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.”

²⁹ “Yes, come,” Jesus said.

So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. ³⁰ But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.

³¹ Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?”

(Matthew 14 NLT)

It all comes down to trust, doesn't it? Peter trusted Jesus enough to get out of the boat--and that's a lot farther than any of the other guys he was with that night! Peter trusted Jesus enough to step out onto the water. Peter's eyes went where our eyes tend to go immediately after we step out in faith: they began to notice the storm, the power of the winds, the reality that apart from Christ he was going under! And, yet, even when Peter took his eyes off of Jesus, Jesus never took His eyes off of him. He didn't scold Peter for his fear, He simply reminded him that faith in Christ is never wasted. When Peter began to sink he cried out for Jesus--not for the other disciples. He knew that there was only one Hope for him--and that was the man standing on the water right in front of him.

We, too, can take courage. He is here. He sees. He cares. He isn't going anywhere! And, when the fog closes in on us and we lose sight of the shore (that just may be closer than it appears), we can trust that it is right where it is supposed to be. Not an inch closer or an inch farther.
"My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus' name!"

Hope Changes Everything #BlogParty2011

2011-08-20T08:15:00.007-04:00

In this blog party, we are concentrating together on what hope is and how it has the power to change everything. I've mentioned that I'm reading a book called “Relentless Hope" by a woman named Beth Guckenberger. What I haven't yet mentioned is that I accidentally came upon this book. I'm not sure how I ended up with it exactly but it was with a stack of my books and because I'm writing and studying and preparing to teach on the theme of hope, I decided to pull this one out and read it. I'm so glad I did!

It may have been an accident to me, but it was no accident that I got my hands on this book and that I am reading it now. The stories the author shares are some of the most powerful and painfully real ones that I've ever read on the printed page. And they are also full of hope. These stories are making a huge impact on me as I read Beth's words and receive God's message through it. Messages I need to hear.

At one point in the book Beth describes a hurricane that impacted her city where she lives in Mexico. Listen to what she has to say about this experience:

“Hurricane Alex pummeled my Third World city of Monterrey, Mexico, this week with almost 40 inches of rain in as many hours. The city has widespread damage and devastation. Our little ministry campus felt under assault while the rain relentlessly demanded to go where it wanted.

I was outside, in the thick of the storm, bailing out buckets of rain water alongside a motley crew of visiting guests, longtime staff friends, and some of the orphan teens that live with us. In the middle of it all, I stopped and realized what should have been crushing was actually joyful. We were fearful for our homes and mentally calculating the cost of damage as it was happening, but we were all in this together and were building a certain intimacy as we ganged up together against the storm.

It was in that moment, with dozens of us standing together protecting the property and each other, wearing ponchos that had long since seemed useless, and sleep deprived to the point of being slap-happy, that I realized all over again the truth of Jeremiah's words.* There is nothing worthless, not even a hurricane, that God can't bring something useful or precious out of. I could choose to look at the rain, and the mud, and focus on the worthless, or I could look at the deepening connection with friends and the fragile outreach to my neighbors and see the precious.

I hit a turning point around inch 20, when I realized I was wasting far too much time wondering Why doesn't he stop it? Instead I could've been marveling at a God who allows all of creation the free will to live the life of our own choosing and yet still reaches down and redeems, repairs, restores….

I'm promising myself to fix on the precious when it's tempting to look down at the septic water in my kitchen. It feels like exercising a muscle and I have a choice to learn to pick up what feels heavy and watch it strengthened, or let the heavy things in my life pin me down.

It's more than looking on the bright side of things-which somehow implies that when we grieve the loss or a sin, we are living on the dark side. Extracting the precious isn't about dark or light, it's not about mood or personality, it's about wisdom. It's not an attempt to brush over what is hard or painful, it's an exercise in finding perspective, context, hope."

*From Jeremiah 15: “If you return, then I will restore you-before me you will stand; and if you extract the precious from the worthless, you will become my spokesman…. for I am with you to save you and deliver you, declares the Lord.”

So as we consider the gift of hope together, and how hope changes everything, what might happen if beginning right now we all decided to extract the precious from the worthless and share what we find with those around us?

Hope Changes Everything, by Amy Reid #BlogParty2011

2011-08-19T08:15:00.002-04:00

I'm SO honored and thrilled to introduce this amazing woman to you....that is if you don't already know her. She is one of the most engaging, authentic, joy-filled and gracious women I know. And we've never even been in the same place at the same time. One of the great things about technology is that it connects us to people we wouldn't otherwise get to know.

Most of you, if you've followed anything I've done in the past 5 years or so, have heard me mention regularly (possibly even obnoxiously?) John Lynch with Truefaced and Open Door Fellowship in Phoenix, AZ. John and his fabulous wife, Stacey, have done an incredible job leading many, many people into a greater understanding of grace, authentic community, and living out of who God says we are. Imagine getting to be their kid. Right? Wow. Well, since we don't all get that honor, I wanted to introduce you to someone who does have that honor:

Meet Amy Lynch Reid!

Hope Changes Everything

"Hope" is a feeling of expectation or a desire for something to happen. I think about how disappointing it can be to be hopeful for things- to hope for a raise; for a friend to pursue you back; for your car to start running better, etc. We hope, and desire, and expect these things, and so many more, to happen. And when they don't, we feel discouraged and hurt and let-down. Hoping can be scary and risky. But when we put our hope in the Lord, He doesn't disappoint. It is so beautiful to experience this first hand, to trust that there is someone to put your hope in who will not let you down.

I am a super happy, joyful, positive, energetic almost-24-year-old girl. I love life- I love traditions and holidays and surprises and all the little moments that make life special. I don't have many down days. But just in this last year, my life got really shaken up. A series of really hard situations put me in a bad place. Circumstantially, my life seemed like it was upside down. And as someone who has had very few sad days in her life, I was contemplating antidepressants. I couldn't make sense of my life. I couldn't get a grip of my emotions. I couldn't find my way out of my disappointment and hurt.

I started reading through the Bible in a year in January. And a few months ago, I got to Job. I've always known the story of Job, but it's never been something I could relate to. He experienced so much suffering; so much was taken away from him; he couldn't figure out why or find answers to his situation. But after all of his loss and suffering, he says "you have redeemed my soul and I will live to enjoy the light." I kept reading and re-reading this verse. Regardless of his unfortunate circumstances, he was choosing to live for the light of Christ. I was reminded that in my darkest days, when nothing seems to make sense, He is absolutely enough! When I choose to put my hope in Him, it changes EVERYTHING. He has always been and will always be enough. If every other piece of my life falls apart; if I lose everything...I can still find joy by putting my hope in Him. He promises to protect those who love Him. And He does. He has taken such good care of me, especially on those dark days when I cry out to Him. I will continue to put my hope in Him because it really does CHANGE EVERYTHING!

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More about Amy, in her own words...

My name is Amy Reid. I'm 23 years old. I was born and raised in Phoenix, Arizona; nurtured and protected by one of the sweetest communities on earth. I moved to California for college when I was 17. I met a California boy, fell in love, and got married in 2009. I'm now a California girl, living in Alta Loma, with my handsome husband, Danny, and our adorable dog, Dupree. The things that make my world spin 'round are: my faithful Jesus, my flat-out awesome family, my precious husband, and my addiction to Starbucks, chocolate, and all things fun!

Got Hope? #BlogParty2011

2011-08-18T08:53:00.000-04:00

The Blog Party continues today with a little excerpt from Beth Guckenberger's book, Relentless Hope:

"The enemy sets traps for us all the time, waiting and watching for the fall. He uses our history, our present struggles, our fatigue and doubt, then adds someone else's sin and waits until we find ourselves in moments we couldn't have imagined--denying God three times or wrapped in someone else's arms or poking ourselves with a needle. And he gloats, thinking he's won.

What we can know for sure is that he couldn't be more wrong, or shortsighted.

It might seem for a moment we are lost, but like a coin that gets found and a son who comes home, we praise a God who isnt' caught in the only chapter being read. He knows the ending.

Can we gain a seated-in-the-heavenlies perspective that mirrors his? Can we see missteps and/or discouragement as rocks we can stand on? Can those become not what we are embarrassed by but instead what we testify about?"

Hope really does change everything!

Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.

Hebrews 10:23 NLT

P.S.

I can't wait for you all to meet AMY LYNCH REID who will be sharing about her story of Hope beginning tomorrow. You're sure to fall in love with her immediately, just as anyone does who meets her for the first time or knows her well. Thanks for coming to the party!

Blog Party STARTS TODAY!!

2011-08-17T08:15:00.001-04:00

It's been almost a full year since I hosted my last Blog Party. It was so much fun, and since I totally dig parties so much that I'll throw them for almost no reason at all, I decided to have another one!!

This year's Blog Party will lead into the Fall Series at Church 4 Chicks, where we will focus on the theme "Hope Changes Everything!"

Visit www.church4chicks.com for more info on series!

I've invited several women from different backgrounds, ages, and stages in life to share how Hope has changed everything for them. I can't wait to read their posts, and I can't wait to read your comments, either.

In my studying and preparing for this new series, I came across a book by Beth Guckenberger called "Relentless Hope." I'm captivated by this book! If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you've seen my most recent posts quoting this book. I love Beth's style of writing and how she shares these incredible stories of people who, in one way or another, came to have relentless hope.

Find this book and an excerpt at www.bethguckenberger.com

Consider how Beth defines this relentless hope:

"Relentless hope has a fierceness about it, but it shouldn't be mistaken for ruthlessness or inconsiderateness. The fierceness represents the seriousness with which we face our opposition in this world. It's a fierce way of praying, a fierce way we stare down the lion circling the prey, or a fierce entrance into a fiery furnace. A kind of standing-your-ground that refreshingly isn't dependent on the latest polls, the opinions of others, or even a track record. It is instead a fierce hope in the one who has already accomplished all that is needed to bring peace and grace into a chaotic world and a confidence we are on the right team."

As we meet for this awesome Blog Party, I want to invite you to invite your friends to join us. After all, the more the merrier!! The party begins TODAY and will run through September 13 when we kick off the Fall Series with an event at Town Center Community Church called "Overcoming" featuring Lori Kennedy. (Stay tuned for more info and/or visit our website for all the nitty-gritty details!)

So, how has Hope Changed Everything for you? Or, how could Hope change everything for you in your current circumstances? I'd love to hear from you!!

Come back often to read the stories written by these real women and see if you don't have more HOPE as the days and weeks go by!

#BlogParty2011 Coming SOON

2011-08-15T11:19:00.000-04:00

I had so much fun hosting a little party on my blog last fall that I decided to do it again! :-)

Last year's theme was "Dreams" and this year's theme leads us to our Fall Series at Church 4 Chicks: "Hope Changes Everything!"

The party will begin on August 17 and YOU are cordially invited!! You won't want to miss what some incredible women have to share about their journey and how Hope indeed changed everything!!

Read what Beth Guckenberger shares in her latest book, "Relentless Hope:"

Our churches have pews full of people who are tired of the party of the 99 (sheep) with smiles painted on and G- rated stories only being told with glossy, happy endings. Instead we long to share what storms we have been through, to find encouragement and authentic --no more labels or excuses, no more posing-- kind of fellowship most of the sheep truly long for. We want to talk about the pain chapters and together celebrate the precious we've extracted.

So, won't you join us over these next few weeks as we take a look at this theme through the party? We'd love for you to grab a cup of coffee and pull up a chair with us and "extract the precious" even from the most painful. Our God is still in the Hope giving business!

Also, if you're in town, we'd love for you to join us at Church 4 Chicks when we explore this topic in more detail together:

Fall Series: September 27-November 15 at Town Center Community Church with a wonderful kick-off event, "Overcoming" featuring Lori Kennedy, on September 13. All the details can be found at www.church4chicks.com

Don't forget!!!

2011-08-05T13:30:00.002-04:00

You and your friends are invited to join us for a unique Night of Worship featuring World-renowned harpist and TV personality, Merry Miller.

Merry Miller is a world renowned professional harpist, businesswoman and TV host, who is a regular guest on Fox Business
Channel and has Co Hosted "The View." She has played the harp professionally since age 14 and released thirteen best selling
albums which Rolling Stone magazine calls "beautiful." She has been featured on CBS, ABC, Today Show, E!, and MSNBC,
and was named one of the most "Intelligent Women in the World" by Elle magazine in 2008 and made Crain's New York
"40 Under 40."

Her popular children's CDs include the best selling "Dream Baby" "Classical Baby" "Angel Baby" "Merry Kidsmas" and"Holiday Baby." Her adult CDs include: "Tranquility" "Favorites from the Harp" "Love from the Harp" "Heavenly Hymns on the Harp" "Holidays on the Harp" ""Yuletide Glow" "Weddings on the Harp" and "Classics for Everyone" with legendary violinist Gary Levinson.

Merry began playing professionally at age fourteen and has since performed throughout the world in concerts, with symphonies, for celebrities and world leaders and with numerous chamber groups in New York City. Merry performs on a gold Lyon and Healy harp which was built in 1940 before she won the audition to buy it in 1988.

You don't want to miss this FREE event!! Get more info at www.church4chicks.com

To RSVP or get more info, please contact us at info@church4chicks.com or 770-877-0007 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 770-877-0007 end_of_the_skype_highlighting