My Buddy and Me...

Dogs are miracles with paws. 
~Attributed to Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy

I was 22 years old when I began praying for a dog. Money was tight (isn't it always?); so my options were very limited. Very limited. The dog would have to be FREE.

I began my search and found an ad on the ajc.com classifieds for a "free dog to a good home... yadda yadda." There wasn't a picture of said dog, which was a really good thing. I mean look at him. Would you drive two hours to see this dog? ;-) Especially if you'd never met him before?

I called the woman who placed the ad and she explained she was looking for a new home for this 1 year old terrier mix she had rescued recently because her two other dogs (8 and 12 years old) couldn't handle the playfulness of this new addition to their home. She told me he was fun and sweet and extremely good natured. I guess when she said he had a good personality, I should have been prepared. (Ha ha)

I drove the two hours alone and finally arrived at the house of the woman who rescued the brown-eyed boy who would completely steal my heart. My very first thoughts were, "I drove two hours for this? This has got to be the ugliest dog I've ever seen! There's no way he's coming home with me...but I'll be polite enough to meet him and this woman who is trying to find a home for him...no wonder she's giving him away for free!"

I didn't know it when I met him, but as I've looked back on that moment over the years, I really think he somehow knew we were meant for each other. He attached himself to me right away and before I realized what I had gotten myself into, I had this ugly, playful, sweet, friendly, protective, wonderful, loyal four-legged future best friend in the mini-van with me, headed home. He had already been named, and so we didn't change it. "Buddy." It was the perfect name for him.

My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am.  ~Author Unknown

Buddy at 10 years old
*His eyes are actually brown* ;-)

I'll never forget our one and only camping trip with Buddy. This dog passionately HATED water. I have no idea what happened to him before we met that caused this, but I'll always remember having to carry this crazy, scared-out-of-his-wits canine across a river...and back again! I was scratched up so much from him freaking out on me and doing his dead-level best not to get a drop of water on him!

I'll also never forget almost losing him on that trip when he got bit in the neck by a copperhead. Scared us both half to death. That was in 1998.

We long for an affection altogether ignorant of our faults.  Heaven has accorded this to us in the uncritical canine attachment.  ~George Eliot

When no one else was, Buddy was there. During the painful season of divorce and learning to accept that my girls would be gone every other weekend. During the losses of miscarriage on four different occasions. I even prayed when I was single again that if God wanted another man in my life that it would be someone who would love Buddy and would be loved by Buddy. I'll tell you something I haven't told too many people: I think Buddy fell in love with Stephen Hendrix before the rest of us girls did. As I've cried a river these past 24 hours missing him, I remember that all the times I've cried like this over the past 15 years, Buddy was by my side. It makes losing him that much harder...I've grown so accustomed to having him with me when I'm hurting.

One reason a dog can be such a comfort when you're feeling blue is that he doesn't try to find out why.  ~Author Unknown

We've known for some time now that we've been on borrowed time with our best friend. Buddy used to love to run and play. His favorite game for YEARS was fetch. His favorite food was popcorn. His favorite activity was simply being with us. He was always so protective of us--of me in particular--and he would alert me if anyone got within 1/2 mile of our house! As my hearing loss has increased through the years, he became my alarm system and door bell and guest greeter all in one.

He had his ornery side, too, though. He loved to get into the trash, and although he knew he wasn't allowed on the furniture, up until a couple of years ago, he would plant himself on beds and couches anytime we weren't at home---always off of them and ready to greet us when we got home---and always looked so surprised when we knew he had been there. (His unmatched ability to shed gave him away every time!)

But as the years have gone on, his ability to hear, walk, and play has dramatically decreased. This didn't stop him from greeting favorite family members and friends who came to the house and it didn't stop him from at least trying to follow me from room to room as I moved about my day. 

We've been confident the past few months that every day we would get to have with Buddy would be an added bonus to the years and years of getting to experience his loyal friendship. I'm so thankful we got to have one last Christmas with him. I'm so thankful for family members and friends who have loved us and encouraged us and even cried with us through this. 

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.  ~Roger Caras

 Fifteen years worth of memories. Fifteen years worth of friendship with a dog, who as my father-in-law so appropriately said was "more than a dog." Fifteen years worth of Holidays, Birthdays, joys, losses, additions, celebrations, and difficult farewells. And that brown-eyed boy was there by my side through every single bit of it. Until now. And this loss is great. 

My brother sent me a poem by Rudyard Kipling and it is so appropriate to end this post with it.

A Dog for Jesus 

(Where dogs go when they die)

I wish someone had given Jesus a dog.

As loyal and loving as mine.

To sleep by His manger and gaze in His eyes

And adore Him for being divine.

As our Lord grew to manhood His faithful dog,

Would have followed Him all through the day.

While He preached to the crowds and made the sick well

And knelt in the garden to pray.

It is sad to remember that Christ went away

To face death alone and apart.

With no tender dog following close behind,

To comfort its Master's Heart.

And when Jesus rose on that Easter morn,

How happy He would have been,

As His dog kissed His hand and barked it's delight,

For The One who died for all men.

Well, the Lord has a dog now, I just sent Him mine,

The old pal so dear to me.

And I smile through my tears on this first day alone,

Knowing they're in eternity.

Day after day, the whole day through,

Wherever my road inclined,

Four feet said, "Wait, I'm coming with you!"

And trotted along behind.

*******************************************

P.S.
I promise I won't go on and on forever about Buddy. I know others who are going through things far more painful and difficult. But I'm also reminded of my husband's words and counsel to not minimize what I'm going through or discount the loss. I honestly don't even know if anyone else will make it through this whole post, but I needed to write it, and after speaking with my publisher yesterday about this very topic, I write it here instead of my journal in the hopes that maybe it will minister to someone's heart to know they aren't alone in the pain of losing a beloved pet and that what they're going through matters!

What matters to you matters to God.  ~Max Lucado