Want to make an even greater impact tomorrow than you are making today? #DCW11

Photo by Dynamic Communicators Workshop

It reminded me of the "Planes, Trains, and Automobile" movie, but thankfully without all the drama... and swearing. The trip to Vail this past Monday was relatively smooth, but I'm learning that my 37 year old self doesn't travel as well as my 27 year old self once did. Twenty-three hours after rolling out of bed (on only three hours of sleep the night before, thanks to a false alarm by our smoke detector and a very panicked little brown-eyed boy), 2 cars, 2 planes, a couple of "trains" at the airports, and not enough coffee, I arrived on a platform to give a 5 minute speech in front of a group of complete strangers. Strangers I knew would be critiquing my every move. My every word. My every...everything....

Photo by Dynamic Communicators Workshop

I gave probably the worst 5 minute speech of my life. (And, no, I'm not exaggerating.) I felt the disappointment in myself. I wanted to bring something better to that first impression. I've been speaking publicly in various venues, on live TV, on radio, on a national news channel, for the past 7 years for goodness' sake; so I should be able to do this, right? Pressured by the reality that we don't get a second chance to make a good first impression, I wanted to succeed.

I failed.

That whole evening, because of my absolute exhaustion, I felt as though I was having an out of body experience. I was embarrassed and even angry with myself for even making the trip so far away from Home--from the place where no one cares if I'm impressive or not. I was now frustrated that I would miss Church 4 Chicks the next night. C4C has become such a place of grace for many women--this one included, so I can have an "off night" there and still be loved and accepted just as I am. I wondered if I had made the right decision to travel so far, take such a risk, and pay such a price.

My small group leader, Candie, got up to give me her impression and suggestions. She was firm, yet kind, in what she had to say. I sensed myself (and heard myself) pulled to defend my poor first impression. I wanted a do-over button. Heck, I wanted a time machine!! I wanted to be able to go back in time and not even make the effort to attend the conference at all.

And then it was time for the people in my small group to tell me what they thought. I thought to myself, "Here it goes...they're all wondering how in the world I ever got even this far in what I do." And, you know what, even though I just gave the worst public speech of my adult life, I didn't die. I was still breathing in and out. No one came and took away my "communicator" card. No one shamed me out of the room and off the mountain for my weak performance.

These people who were strangers only minutes before, became dear friends in just as many minutes. From them I received the gift of honest feedback, helpful criticism, and heartfelt encouragement. And, I was given the privilege of offering them those same gifts in return.

I want to encourage you to move past your comfort zone and take the risk and make the investment to go to the next level in whatever it is you do with your everyday life.

Do you want to make an even greater impact tomorrow than you are today? If the answer is "no," feel free to move on to something else. If the answer is "yes," then I invite you to keep reading.

Are you a stay-at-home mom? Are you a school teacher? Are you a musician? Are you an IT person? Are you a student? There is a world of people, right in our own spheres of influence, who are either benefiting to the max because we are in their lives or are missing out on what they could be experiencing because we haven't yet stretched ourselves enough to reach even our own potential. How do we take others to a place we ourselves have never been?

I mentioned that my own experience equipped me in three key ways, and I want to share those with you here:

• I received honest feedback...

The more comfortable we become in the environments where we work, serve, or lead, the easier it is to put ourselves in neutral and begin coasting, rather than moving into a higher gear to take those we influence to a higher level with us. It doesn't have to be this way!

One thing I noticed right away while in the high altitude of the Colorado mountains was that it was harder to breathe there than at home closer to ground. I got out of breath going up just one flight of stairs! And, similarly, when we open ourselves up to honest feedback, we won't feel comfortable with it at first--it might be hard to breathe--and that's okay! But if we continue, we begin to adjust to that higher altitude of living and begin to find ourselves able to breathe a little better. 

By submitting ourselves voluntarily to people who are given the permission to give us their honest feedback, we give ourselves the gift of becoming better equipped to make an even greater impact than we've ever made before. We ALL need this kind of feedback. It doesn't matter our trade or profession. Honest feedback gives us an edge that most people won't ever experience because of their fear of the whole truth. 

Here's a little secret: you won't die. You might find it hard to breathe, but you won't die. ;-)

• I received helpful criticism...

As the wonderful folks, pictured above, gave me their honest feedback, they also gave me helpful criticism. They didn't just give me feedback on the things they liked about my speech or style. They pointed out the fact that I tend to move a little too much when speaking, and that I tend to talk too fast for most listeners (which I've heard many times before and always need to be reminded of!) This criticism was far more helpful than if they had only offered that I did a "great job." 

You and I need to have people in our lives who are invited to be critical (constructively, of course!) of our work. My writing, my speaking, my parenting, my life, will be far more effective because there are people who have, not only my permission, by my invitation to offer helpful criticism.

There is no point at which you can say, 

"Well, I'm successful now.  I might as well take a nap." 

 ~Carrie Fisher

(In fact, as I type out this post, I have a little critic reading and commenting on this. My son, Jackson, believes this post could be a lot "juicier!" so I'm working to spice it up a bit! Thanks kid...)

• Not only did I receive honest feedback and helpful criticism, I was honored and humbled by their heartfelt encouragement...

With Candie Blankman, my small group leader

These amazing people opened up their lives and invited the rest of us to speak to their strengths and weaknesses as well. By the second of the three nights (and speeches) we were all wearing the same jersey, so to speak. We knew we were all a part of the same team and we wanted each member to be equipped to give their best! Through the leadership of our small group leader, Candie, we were all able to give the kind of encouragement that supersedes any kind of fluff or generic compliment. We were able to give genuine verbal blessings to one another and share how much potential and value we could see in each of the group members' areas of greatest influence. Some of our group were pastors, some in the education system, some writers and speakers, one is an IT pro--all of us communicators.

And, now, because we opened ourselves up, took the risk, and weathered the crazy emotional ups-and-downs, we are better communicators than we were just 5 days ago. 

Some people dream of success... while others wake up and work hard at it. 

 ~Author Unknown

I want to challenge you with this: Are you opening yourself up to honest feedback, helpful criticism and heartfelt encouragement from others? Do you intentionally invite others to speak truth into your life? If you'll do this, I promise that you and every one you influence will be impacted in a greater and longer lasting way as a result. 

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SCORRE Conference 2011

For more information on Dynamic Communicators Conference, now known as the "SCORRE Conference" led by Ken Davis and Michael Hyatt, along with some A-mazing world changers, please visit www.dynamiccommunicators.com