Resolution Revolution?

(originally posted January 2010)

I am so blessed to get to be a part of the WATC 57 Ministry here in Atlanta as I host Atlanta Live about 2 times each month and fill in for other hosts from time to time on other shows like Friends and Neighbors. I hosted last week and shared very briefly some of what God has been showing me in my times alone with Him and even throughout the day. I knew all of this would take more time than one single blog post could handle (and is a longer post than I normally submit even so), so I wanted to break it into two parts as we consider the New Year, the resolutions we make, and the motivation behind our resolutions.


With the previous post in mind, I want to share what I believe to be the two greatest motivational forces in the universe. If you take all of the different motives for why we do things, I think they can be narrowed down to these two basic forces: fear and love. Take a look at all the different things we do in relationship to others on any given day. How do you perform for your employer, your spouse, your neighbors, etc? What do we do, and why do we do it?

The two exact same actions performed can be as a result of 
two completely different motivational forces.

The enemy (Satan) uses fear to motivate us to act all the time, and he doesn't wait until we're old enough to catch on to his tactics. He whispers how we need to take control of our own lives and look out for #1 since no one else can be trusted to do so. He puts questions in our minds about God's love for us and is pretty convincing at times that God is far too busy taking care of other more important business than caring for that which concerns us. Perception is a very powerful thing, and he knows this, and uses it to his advantage. Fear is what terrorists (hence the name) use to get their enemies to surrender without even putting up a fight. They invoke terror and when the enemy is convinced that surrender is a better option than fighting, it makes it easier for the terrorists to take over--often without much of a fight at all. The enemy of our souls is one powerful terrorist. He knows he can't touch the child of God, the Bride of Christ; but this doesn't keep him from trying to influence each and every one of us. And how he loves to use fear to accomplish his goals. Fear is an extremely powerful, almost unconquerable, force.

The only thing that can overpower fear is LOVE.

The only motivator greater than fear is genuine love. The Bible tells us that God IS Love. He embodies Love. He is LOVE personified. God chooses to love us just as we are, not because of anything we could do for Him or offer Him, but simply because Love is His nature.

Although fear usually brings about quicker results, love takes its time to produce lasting change. Fear eventually leads to rebellion or surrender--and I don't mean surrender in a good way. I mean surrender as in "I give up. I'll never please this person anyways, so why even bother trying?" Fear that leads to surrender is when I lay down my rights to myself out of fear of a worse alternative (i.e. "if I don't wave the white flag, the consequences could be my annihilation.") That is not the kind of surrender Scripture calls us to.

I see these two forces at work as I raise my children. Although at times I'm tempted to use my strength (intellectually, emotionally, or even physically) to invoke fear to intimidate my kids into behaving a certain way, in order to make me feel successful as a parent, or at least see more of the desired behavior from them, I'm learning more and more as time goes by, that heart change is what I really desire. This type of parenting is often messy and unpredictable. This takes love from me, and patience with them, and trusting the Holy Spirit in their lives to bring about lasting change as they, slowly but surely, begin to believe what I'm telling them about who God is and who He says they are (because of Christ in them).

Don't get me wrong. I'm not being unrealistic. I know that when a person is young, inexperienced, and/or immature, fear is often necessary to keep them safe; as in to a toddler, "Don't cross the road or you'll be staying inside the rest of the day." Or to an older child: "Be home at this time or you're choosing to be home for a while." The child doesn't want the consequence, so they choose to obey.

But what if that child begins to learn over time that he can fully trust the one in authority with his very life, and heart, and future? How might his behavior begin to change when he has been loved so well and so consistently for so long? You just might see a child who chooses, over time, to surrender willingly to his parents because the child now trusts that his parents are for him.

Or what about a wife who has found that her husband's love is so true, so faithful, and so genuine that she chooses to surrender to her husband's leadership because she has come to find that her heart is completely safe in his capable hands?

What might happen...

...if we were to begin to live life surrendered in response to love, rather than a reaction to fear?

...if we began to live out this surrender in our relationships to others: our spouses, parents, children, friends, family members, co-workers...?

...if a culture begging to see authenticity and integrity were able to see it best in those who claim Christ as Savior and Lord?

...in the Church, as more and more of us began to live surrendered lives in response to the Grace of God in our lives, confident in His love for us, rather than killing ourselves to measure up out of a reaction to fear of judgment if we don't toe the line?

What might happen in your world if Love replaced fear as the main motivational force behind what you do?

New Year's Resolutions

(A re-post)

Although it has flown by so quickly, it really has been a very full and wonderful Christmas/New Year break. There is always something about that change of the calendar from one year to the next, isn't there? I love a fresh start! For the first time in a long time, I've made some New Year's Resolutions. I posted some of them here if you're interested in what those are.

Then, I heard a message by Andy Stanley this weekend that got me thinking about my resolutions. Andy said, "It is always a mistake to decide what you will do before you decide who you want to be." His point was that we can make resolutions all day long and maybe even achieve those goals, but if our character is weak, it won't even matter if we achieve them all. He quoted someone else when he said something like, "What you want said of you at your funeral is your own personal definition of success." (This might be a good place to put the word "Selah"--i.e. "pause and consider that.")

What if we were to be successful at every single goal we have set for ourselves for 2010 but had to lie, cheat, steal, become disloyal, or worse to reach those goals? Would that still be success?

I wholeheartedly agree with Andy's statement, but feel the need to clarify something that some of us (especially those performance-driven readers--like me) might need to have cleared up. What if, before setting "action" goals (and I'm not saying there's anything wrong with them), and rather than trying to "become" someone or something we want to be, we were to begin to learn to live out who God already says we are and make it our goal to live as though it really is the truth about us? What if we lived in an environment of grace with others on the same journey to learning what it means to be a new creation and that, together, we could be free to mature into the very person God has already made us to be? What if we didn't have to hide behind our "do" for acceptance, affirmation, or approval, but could live out of our "be"-- knowing we're already fully accepted?

I spent some time this morning thinking and journaling about how I would want to be described by others, and found that as I narrowed these down to 5 descriptive words, that each one is a characteristic my Heavenly Father has already promised to make true of me as I cease my striving to conjure them up and choose rather to place all of my trust in Him, allowing His nature to make itself known through me. These are characteristics already placed within me at salvation when He placed His very nature inside of me--characteristics that He is already developing and maturing in me. And each one could fall under the list of attributes known as the "Fruit (not "fruits") of the Spirit. As I believe this more and more, I naturally begin to see the proofs of that reality. No "Carmen Miranda" fake fruit here; but real, authentic fruit that lasts and produces even more of the same kind.

A few things about fake, or manufactured, fruit is:
1. It doesn't bruise and often looks better than the real thing,
2. It's often mistaken for the real thing, BUT
3. It is NEVER going to produce more of itself. It's lifeless, and can never duplicate itself.

It might look good on the outside and even fool a lot of people, but it has nothing of lasting value to offer anyone. Eventually, it just collects dust and gets put in someone's garage sale.

But, real fruit--that's a whole 'nother thing! Real fruit does bruise, it does get messy sometimes, but that is because it's alive and has inside of it the potential for more and more and more life! It nourishes and adds value to Not one of us can create this fruit, but because of Christ (the Creator) in us, we can "bear fruit." If it comes down to "being" before "doing" then my hope is that in 2010 God will have more of me and more of my trust in Him that He might produce lasting fruit in and from my life that has a ripple effect that affects many and leads many into a growing relationship with the very One who has created them for a relationship with Him like nothing else!

So, what about you? Have you made your New Year's Resolutions? Is it time for a Resolution Revolution? How might 2010 look different than any previous year if we all chose to live out of who God says we are instead of "striving to become" who we think God wants us to be?



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Some great resources that fit along well with this post are: The Complete Green Letters, by Miles J. Stanford; The Rest of the Gospel, by Dan Stone; Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands, by Paul David Tripp; The Safest Place on Earth, by Dr. Larry Crabb; and as always, Truefaced & Bo's Cafe, by Bill Thrall, Bruce McNicol, and John Lynch.

(originally posted Jan. 2010)

Thank you for continued prayers and notes...

Just a quick update for all who have been praying for my "Macey girl" over these past several weeks. It means the world to us all and we can definitely sense those prayers.

We are continuing our journey of discovering more about Asperger Syndrome and also dealing with the realities of the attack on her on October 31. She truly is my hero. Although this season has not been easy for anyone, we all feel the presence and the peace of Immanuel. We are so grateful!

A little over a year ago, my sister helped me create a dedication video for Macey's 13th birthday. So many of you have become her prayer warriors and I thought you might enjoy seeing this video if you haven't before. May we all be more intentional this Christmas Season to be fully engaged in our relationships with those closest to us than ever before.

Macey Claus 2008

Merry Christmas from our family to yours!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

From the whole Hendrix Family, Merry Christmas to you and yours! May your days be merry and bright! 

Enjoying the Reason for the Season,

Stephen, Shelley, Amelia, Macey and Jackson

What would be lost?

"Every organization must ask, 'What would be lost if we disappeared?"

Jim Collins

 

http://blogs.nyu.edu/blogs/ak2607/anuradha/And_you_disappear_by_xcaMouchex.jpg

I read this a while back and it continues to keep me asking the question myself, "Just what would happen if Church 4 Chicks disappeared?" Who would not be reached with the gospel? What heart would not find its healing? What friendships would not be formed? What other ministries would not be supported and encouraged?

What organization are you a part of? Have you asked yourself this question?

I also ask myself sometimes, "What might have happened if we had never existed to begin with? What difference is C4C making that wouldn't be made if we weren't here?"

I want to ask each of you these same questions. Pause and consider what would be lost if your organization no longer existed. Would it matter? If so, in what way(s) would it matter? Maybe you aren't part of an organization, so if that's the case, replace "organization" with "my contribution."

Keeping the vision of the organization (or "call") before me helps me stay in the game when my flesh wants to take a permanent vacation...or at least a reallllly long one! It's important that we, as leaders, continue to do at least one thing each day that lines up with the vision God has given us--for Church 4 Chicks it's to not only reach our city for Christ, but to also --as time goes by-- begin to equip other people--women in particular-- to reach their cities for Christ as well. It's vital that we keep the vision before us and that we encourage one another in this as well.

As I hear from people in other cities and even other countries who love what they see us doing here in our little corner of the globe, it encourages me to hear the confirmation that God IS in this!! God DID initiate this whole thing and it is HE who will sustain it! The pressure is not on our shoulders for the victory of this ministry or for lives to be changed! The pressure for success in your organization doesn't rest solely on your shoulders either.

The fact remains, though, that He has invited US to be a part of it.

So, what would happen if we no longer did our part? Remember in the story of Esther when Mordecai challenged Esther to step up to the plate and assume her God-given role in her time, her culture, her life? Remember when he said to her, "For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" (Esther 4:13) Mordecai was teaching a very important biblical principle: God is in control. Circumstances never dictate the probability of victory to come. God will have His will and way accomplished. He invites us to be a part of it. We have a choice. Our choices have consequences.

God placed Esther supernaturally into the exact position she needed to be in to do the exact thing He wanted her to do. If Esther had chosen to remain silent--unengaged in what God was doing, hidden, disobedient--God was still going to bring deliverance to His people, but she would have missed out on the incredible opportunity to participate in the story of redemption. She would have missed out on being an instrument in God's hands to bring deliverance, not only to the Jews, but to her dear friend and adopted father, Mordecai. There are consequences to our choices/actions. The seeds we plant today are the fruit we'll eat tomorrow. And, this is actually really good news!

Our willingness to trust and obey God in the crucial times of our organizations is a vital ingredient to how much each of us will get to experience and enjoy the blessings of the victories God already has in store!

So, what is the vision you have for your organization? Your family? Your ministry?


What would be lost if it disappeared?

Just a friendly reminder...

Hello Everyone,

I am writing to you ahead of time as a little reminder (or update if you missed it on Dec. 1) that I'm taking a much-needed break this month which includes a "fast" from all social networking. It's the middle of December by the time you're reading this, so I can assure you I'm already missing the interaction and dialogue with each of you!

All of this month's posts have been scheduled ahead of time, so I'll be reading the comments (and loving it!) in January.

Just didn't want any of you to think I'm ignoring you! ;-)

If you need to contact Church 4 Chicks, please feel free to email us at info@church4chicks.com. This is the best way to get a response from one of our wonderful volunteers. If you are interested in booking a speaking engagement or media appearance, you can reach us at that same email address. I'll probably have to check in with facebook and Twitter every few days for direct messages, but other than that, please be patient with me and rest assured I'll do my best to get back to you in 2011.

Merry Christmas and may you enjoy the celebration of God with us, and Christ IN us this Christmas Season!

Honored to be your servant,
Shelley

Is Thin Still "In?"

I'm working on writing a new book that deals with one of the main issues women are dealing with today (and I'm finding that men are as well), which is why I'm hardly ever on this blog. I've been crazy busy with life, family, ministry and writing. My manager asked me to put together a book that will help readers find balance and wholeness in their everyday lives. We are bombarded daily with messages from the media and our culture and even our own thoughts that tell us how we are not enough, or we are too much, or how we'll just never ever measure up to the ideal. Most of us struggle with this issue of balance and wholeness. Jesus promised believers that the abundant life was available, so how come so few of us are living the abundant life?

I've been working this morning on some research for one of my chapters on having a healthy body image, and I'm amazed at how much influence the media has been given to govern our ideas of what the ideal person is to look like. For years, women and girls have been targeted most, and so I can imagine that we've all become aware that no woman can actually look like or maintain what magazine covers and commercials depict. And, yet, the media continues to portray models who are unrealistically thin and then airbrushed to minimize the "flaws" to give us something more attractive to look at. I've also read how men and boys are also being affected by how the media is portraying men: the more muscular, the better. Even action figures are being made to look more muscular than what is humanly attainable. Barbie is unrealistic, but now so is G.I. Joe.

It is so difficult to find the balance when it comes to our body-size, weight, and nutrition. For one woman a size 12 would be healthy, and for another, it would mean she is obese and in greater danger of certain weight related health issues. For one person, 135 pounds would be perfectly normal and healthy, and for another, not so much. One man might be naturally more muscular than another--and that is supposed to be okay. But in our culture, it isn't okay. At least that is what the advertisers say because they're goal is to get us to buy, buy, buy more products that promise to complete us if we'll just buy whatever it is they're selling. The diet and beauty industries bring in billions of dollars a year, so it really does pay to promote fantasy. That fantasy increases our tendency to compare ourselves with everyone else which only causes division in our relationships rather than authentic friendship.

I'm no expert on health and nutrition or weight--not by any stretch of the imagination; but I have been around long enough to know this: our culture should never be the ruling authority on our value and worth. The media and magazine art departments should never be given permission from us to determine for us what is ideal. Healthy bodies, healthy souls, and healthy minds are something we need healthy communities to attain and maintain. We need other real people in our lives who will speak truth to us when the world is telling us big ol' whoppers that make us feel less-than and insecure. We need people who know us and love us enough to tell us when a change is needed and people who love us enough to be there for us while we make those changes.

I've been grateful to have been given some direction in my own life as it pertains to becoming healthier physically. I'm thankful the advice I received was never about my jean size or the weight on the scale, but about becoming a healthier Shelley. I'm grateful to have some mentors and friends in my life who help me become healthier emotionally and mentally as they know the real me and speak truth in grace to the real me. And I'm so very grateful for teachers and authors and friends and pastors who speak to my spirit. We all need some key people who will be there to speak truth into our lives, and we need to be humble enough to receive it. Maybe it's time we put the magazines down and pick up something that will impact us positively and help us to make a positive impact in the lives of others. Maybe we need to be more intentional to affirm the good qualities we see in others. Maybe during this Christmas Season we could turn our focus to encouraging those around us with grace and love rather than comparing ourselves to them.

Imagine what could happen if you really began to live out of who God says you are, and if you refused to allow the media and magazines to dictate who you "should" be. Imagine what difference that might make in your Holidays, in your family, and in your sphere of influence. Health is not contagious, but it is influential. May we be people who live in wholeness and health and who influence others to do the same. May we be those who rise up and decide to dictate to the magazines what kinds of people we want to see on the covers rather than having it decided for us. And may we be grace-filled spouses, friends, and parents to those in our lives as we speak affirmation and encouragement to those we love--refusing to compare ourselves or our loved ones with anyone else. Imagine what could happen....

Can't make it to church today?

I was recently given the privilege of being included among some incredibly gifted communicators in a brand new TV Internet site called "Stream4Truth.com" You can find teaching from Dr. Johnny Hunt, who has been my pastor most of my life, Tony Nolan, Tony Dungy, Bryant Wright, Dr. Charles Stanley and more. More speakers/musicians/etc will be added as the site progresses, and I hope you'll check it out and support what its founder, Jason Lyell, is putting together as a great resource for all of us.

Here is one video included on the site. This one is from our Church 4 Chicks spring series, and it's entitled "The Principle of Little by Little."

Forgive the quality of the recording, as we are all still volunteers just taking things one step at a time...little by little. ;-)

When God Says, "GO!"

(A re-post)

By Faith, We Can Follow God to Unknown Places...

Hebrews 11:8 (Amplified) "[Urged on] by faith Abraham, when he was called, obeyed and went forth to a place which he was destined to receive as an inheritance; and he went, although he did not know or trouble his mind about where he was to go."



When a child of God trusts in the heart of the Father, there is no need to fret when He directs us toward an unknown destination. There is no need for worry or fear, but it doesn't mean we don't still fret! Part of growing up in Christ and moving on to a place of greater maturity is in experiencing the struggles of learning to trust God with the unknowns. Sometimes we stumble, and fall, while on the journey, but we can by faith, get back up and keep walking.

God is in the process of transforming us into the likeness of Christ. And, as we learn to trust the One we're following, the less concerned we will be about the destination or direction in which we're heading. Our focus remains on our trustworthy Guide.

Oftentimes, God will make us uncomfortable where we are in order to prep us to be ready to move when He says, "it's time, now, go." I've noticed that many times when God is leading me to leave something to move toward something else, I become dissatisfied with where I am, even though I have no real complaints about where I am. There is just this sense that I no longer belong in that place.

When God spoke to Abraham, his faith had developed to the point that he didn't have to stress out or get all the details up front about what was going to happen. God had done such an incredible work in Abraham's life as Abraham chose time after time to trust God more. He was definitely not perfect, and we can read about the times, especially earlier in his life, where he stumbled because his faith had not yet matured; but here we read how mature his faith had become. Mature enough to simply trust and obey.

So, is God leading you today to an 'unknown' place? Is He making you uncomfortable where you are? Listen carefully to His leading and make up your mind that you'll be one who chooses, even without knowing all the details, that you can fully trust in your faithful Father. Enjoy the Adventure!

Our Excuses No Longer Excuse Us

One thing I’ve learned in my life is that God is possibly more concerned with the journey, and what He is doing in me, than He is in the destination ahead of me. I know this for certain: He is at least as concerned with the journey as He is in the destination!

Think about when God called Jeremiah (a story from the Old Testament). God gave Jeremiah a big task, and the first thing Jeremiah said was “but I’m only a youth…” and God said, “don't tell me you're only a youth…” God knows our limitations far better than we do.

When God sent Samuel to anoint a new king of Israel, Samuel looked at Jesse’s older sons and thought any of them could be the one. God said “no.” Jesse was asked about any other sons and he said, “there is the youngest, but…” (see I Samuel 16). That youngest son, of course was David and he was anointed there in his youth to become king of Israel—in God’s time.

God knows our limitations far better than we do, yes,

and he also knows our potential far better than we do.

What are the “buts” you’ve used to keep you back from living the abundant life God has for you? What are the excuses that you’ve made to give you an out from walking in greater health and wholeness? Of going after that dream God has placed in your heart? Of stepping out in an area of trust you've known for a long time was yours to take?

I'll go first. Here are some of mine:

I’ve used the excuse of “I know I should exercise, but I don’t have time.” Or when it comes to eating healthier, “I know I should eat healthier, but it’s just too expensive (or I won’t like how it tastes).” Or when it comes to something God has put on my heart to do, like when I was 21 and I knew God wanted me to work with teenagers, I said, “But I’ve never done that and they probably won’t respond to me. I’ll probably be so boring to them.” When God calls me to trust him with my finances in my giving, it's a call to trust him to take good care of me, but I often say to Him, “but God I can’t afford this …” When God called me to ministry in 2004 to speak and teach and write, I said, “But God, I’m not qualified…” The excuses we use do not excuse us.

God is doing something in each and every one of us, and He calls us into relationship with Him so that we will learn to trust Him completely and obey Him entirely. Will we ever get to the place where we do this perfectly. Um. NO. And He knows this, too. But, the life of a person who lives up close and personal to God is a life well-lived; a life full of adventure and promise and potential. Most people never taste this kind of life, much less live it. It doesn’t have to be that way for us, though! We can choose to stop making excuses and begin today, afresh and anew, to be honest with God and with other safe people about what those excuses have been and why they are not going to excuse us anymore from doing what we know we were created to do.

This is not a message of "try-harder, do-better!" It's a message that I hope encourages you to humbly trust your very good and very wise Heavenly Father with all of who you are. To trust Him with all the excuses that have held you back in the past. To choose to take a step in faith that He will be with you each and every step of the way.

What are the excuses you know you’ve used that you realize now no longer excuse you?

Wisdom: A Girl's Best Friend--Devotional Guide

Just in time for January 2011! Start your New Year off right :)

31-Day Devotional Guide

Now Available to order!

“The Book of the Proverbs has been a beloved portion of Scripture for thousands of years. Although they were written by ancients, their value and application are still completely relevant today… In Proverbs 9:10, we’re taught that we need to have a reverential fear (respect, awe) of God, but that we also need to get to know Him if we are going to make wise decisions in our lives. May we find that as we respect Him for who He is and as we get to know Him, we too will walk in the wisdom found in God alone.” (An excerpt from the Introduction)
Get Your Copies today! Buy one for you and another for a friend, and enjoy the 31-Day Challenge together. All proceeds go to benefit the Church 4 Chicks ministry in Atlanta, GA where our vision is to Reach Our City for Christ, One Woman at a Time!

Cost is only $12 plus shipping.

Many people have enjoyed the practice of beginning each day by reading a chapter in the Book of Proverbs. Whether this is already a part of your daily time with God or not, you will be encouraged and strengthened by the wisdom of the Proverbs over our 31-Day Journey together. Take the 31-Day Challenge and see if you don’t find that Wisdom really is a Girl’s Best Friend!

Worship through rest

I have been really fortunate this past year and a half to have a woman of grace, maturity, and wisdom speak into my life. For over 5 years I prayed for a spiritual director. I longed to have an intentional relationship with someone who could speak into my life as one who has more experience and depth than I; one who could speak to the deep places in me; and one who could challenge me to grow--without pushing my "performance for acceptance buttons"--in the context of grace and identity in Christ.

May I be honest for a minute? It would have been very easy for me to find someone older and more experienced in ministry than me who could challenge me to be more, do more, try harder, etc. Because I tend to go overboard in that area, I desperately need someone in my life who can challenge me to be still, to rest when necessary, and to not find my identity in what I do. I can't emphasize enough what a gift my spiritual director is.

A couple of weeks ago, as Church 4 Chicks came to its season finale, I met with my friend and we talked about where I am and what life has been like lately. I sat in her office and shared my heart. And in turn, she shared some very powerful words from hers. She reminded me that rest is a gift from God and that it is a form of worship from us to Him just as much as our service is. She told me that when God took us out of the garden, through Christ, He put the garden inside of us. I never thought about that before. She said it is our privilege as His children to be "tenders" of one anothers' gardens. As we meet with one another and speak truth and grace to each other, we are tending our gardens together. As we met, we both agreed that I need some time off to tend to my garden.

With that said, I'll be scheduling some blog posts for the month of December, but I will not be on any social networks. I plan to spend some extra time enjoying the Reason for the Season with my family. I will have access to email, of course, so I'll be available through that to a limited extent. I am really looking forward to being at Hamilton Mill UMC on 12/2 and 12/3 for their Christmas event. I am also looking forward to being on Atlanta Live, Lord willing, on 12/6 and 12/8. There are some other wonderful events coming up both for Christmas and ministry, so I won't be "off" completely! --but I will definitely be taking some time to be intentional to spend time with God and with my close friends and family.

I've heard people say, "I'd rather burn out than rust out," but you know what? Neither of those is my goal. Neither of those is God's will for His children. I'm trusting that as I pull away from some things this month, that I'll have more to offer others from the overflow of what my Heavenly Father has in store for me.

Merry Christmas everyone!!